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Not really sure what to write but I have no idea what to do in this situation and need help. My husband lost his mother in December of last year. His mother and him had a complicated relationship. They constantly fought but made up all the time usually right after. He was very close to her. The last time they spoke they were fighting. Her death came as quite a shock. It was very sudden. He never got the chance to make up with her. One of the things they fought about was the fact that he lost his job in June of last year and still hadn't found another one. Now it's been almost a year since he lost his job and he's still unemployed. Now the excuse is that it's because he's grieving his mother. Any time the issue comes up with him not having a job it's one excuse after another. Right now I work about 50 hours a week at a very tiring job that is very labor intensive. To top everything off I fell at work and hurt my wrist. I've been going to doctor after doctor taking different tests with no results. It's been very painful and stressful. All this might result in me having surgery, having to be off work for possibly months. It's not just that he uses his mother's death for not having a job but for everything. Anytime we fight, anytime he doesn't clean up after himself, just any little thing he can come up with. I know his mother would be disappointed in him for this but I feel like I can't tell him that. I'm trying to be supportive and be there for him. He needs to get out of the house, get a job, make new friends and be social. He keeps becoming more and more depressed and I just don't know how to help him. I've tried everything I can think of. I love him utterly and completely and would do anything for him but I feel myself getting overwhelmed by the mountain of responsibilities I have to handle on my own on top of my injury. He helps me out on occasion especially by taking me to the doctors. He also cooks, one because he's better at it than me and 2 it's hard for me to because of my wrist. Cleaning he's not very good at and the house is a mess because again when my wrist starts hurting it's hard for me to do anything. What should I do? What should I tell him that's not gonna piss him off or upset him anymore than he already is? I just don't know anymore.
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May 27, 2017, 04:29 AM
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.
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