[sinking]

People scare me, especially when im supposed to have a personal relationship, like friends rather than colleagues, or when i have to express myself rather than being who they expect me to be, because then i feel like i become real. like they see ME. and its so awful. im not really scared by them but rather by me becoming real. so i go on living isolated from anyone.

i was supposed to ask a colleague to join her in her lunch break jogging, but words dont come out of my mouth. im too scared to just ask.
do you think i should force myself to ask her?
how do you gather the courage to talk?

I'm not so good with people any more (in person only, I hope!).

I used to be, but then depression and self-doubt got a hold of me and my self-esteem plummeted. So I understand.

I would like you to take that leap though. Just ask. Blurt it out if you must.

Don't turn into me. (Disclosure....it's probably a little selfish of me because if you do this, then it will give me a lift, too....)

Good luck. You got this!

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by sinking

People scare me, especially when im supposed to have a personal relationship, like friends rather than colleagues, or when i have to express myself rather than being who they expect me to be, because then i feel like i become real. like they see ME. and its so awful. im not really scared by them but rather by me becoming real. so i go on living isolated from anyone.

i was supposed to ask a colleague to join her in her lunch break jogging, but words dont come out of my mouth. im too scared to just ask.
do you think i should force myself to ask her?
how do you gather the courage to talk?

You could just get up your nerve and blurt it out like Sophiesmom said. If this goes well it will build your esteem for the next step. There's also exposure therapy for people in your situation that has been helpful.

[sinking]

im going to talk about it on monday with my T... she said nothing wrong can happen, but im afraid of voicing my own wishes and needs. i shouldnt exist.

[Cynderraven]

I used to love socializing, maybe a little too much sometimes But then I had my breakdown and everything changed. The people who called themselves my friends were different with me, distant, until everyone kinda disappeared. I try making new friends, but eventually just end up pushing them away because I don't want to feel like a burden. Wish I could find a happy medium.

[DodgersMom]

People scare me too but for different reasons, ha! I am ok with hanging out with people "friends" and such but I refuse to let anyone get to close.

I also can not start a conversation with anyone. I just stand there like a clueless weirdo waiting and hoping they talk first

I have no good advice, I am working on this issue in therapy, I want you to know though, I understand and you are surely not alone

[sinking]

My T plainly said she doesnt believe me when i talked about how i dont enjoy being with people...

and my good T forgot to answer my text. its the first time in 10 years, but still....

of course im scared by people. they all hurt me one way or another...