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#1
May 28, 2017, 05:35 PM
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In the ongoing saga of not wanting some family on my Facebook because of their terribly inappropriate comments and judgments...I was chatting with my Uncle and regranted him access. I did however, tell him that if he posted stuff that I thought was inappropriate, I would have to delete it.
I just also dont' like it, because I don't trust my father, and I know my uncle feed info to him. But I felt so bad form my Uncle, because I doubt he will live to see 2019 - he's been in such poor health. Just not sure how to deal with this. He's on a restricted friends list, so I can restrict what he sees and doesn't see. Seesaw
__________________
 What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
 Anonymous50909, Anonymous59898
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#2
May 28, 2017, 06:07 PM
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Sounds like a good plan.
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#3
May 28, 2017, 06:38 PM
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all of my family is restricted but i add them just to be nice
thankfully they ignore me on FB too just like in real life lol |
| Anonymous50909
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#4
May 28, 2017, 06:46 PM
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You can unfollow him so his posts don't really show, but he can still contact you directly and you him if you want. I have several people I handle that way on FB. I don't have see all of their inappropriate posts, and they aren't really any the wiser for it.
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#5
May 28, 2017, 07:13 PM
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His posts don't bother me too much. It's his inappropriate comments on my posts.
__________________
What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
| Anonymous50909
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#6
May 29, 2017, 12:26 PM
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Ug, so Uncle is trying to use this as a means to get me and my dad to "make up." My uncle doesn't understand that what is going on between us is more than just one fight. It's about years of abuse and mistreatment.
But anyhow, I did send my dad a note about Memorial Day, as he and my grandfather were vets. Then this morning I went to granddad's grave and left a flag and left flowers on my grandma's grave. I sent the pics of the flag and flowers to my Dad and Uncle. My Dad responded "Why thank you." ANd I had also asked him how we get one of the permanent flower vases that they require for flowers. He didn't know, so I said I would look into it. Since I now realize I live 5 minutes from their cemetery (lol, I didn't even realize that...and I used to take walks through their cemetery and didn't know that was the same one.) I don't think my dad and I can ever have a normal relationship. He was my abuser. Much like my mom. But my mom admitted her shortcomings to an extent. With my father, I think it's going to have to be a very casual relationship, almost like you'd have with an elderly neighbor. (ALthough I had an elderly neighbor and she is one of my best friends now, lol.) The problem between us is that he refuses to see what has happened in our history as father and daughter through my eyes. He will only see them through the eyes of an adult, not that of a young child, not that of a daughter, etc. He believes that his experience is the truth, and allows for no other perception of reality but his own...even when he flat out lied (which is what caused the recent estrangement). He has far too many MI problems that he would never admit, and he can't take responsibility for his own actions. He has accused me of being manipulative (I can't manipulate ****, let me tell you, it's why even though I want to be a lawyer, I don't think I could be) when he is truly the one who has manipulated me several times throughout my life. I could list them off here, but I'm just going to assume you all trust me. Anyways, if this brief interlude can get us back to occasional texting at least, that would be good. I don't need to be lovey dovey with my dad. I don't need us to be close. But I would like him to come to my funeral and vice versa. I would like to at least mention that I have a dad (which I don't even at this point). He's not all terrible either, it's just that bad has outweighed the good SO much. I'm considering writing him a letter...I will draft it and post it here, and maybe y'all can judge if I should send it for Father's Day. Seesaw
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What if I fall? Oh, my dear, but what if you fly? Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia. Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less... |
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#7
May 29, 2017, 01:20 PM
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Quote:
When my grandparents died, my aunt prevented access to their home and furnishings, so that she could give all of those items to her seven children. Then she insulted me, my sister, and mother, by inviting us over to pick through my grandmother's junky, rusty, old jewelry that had missing stones etc and was costume jewelry. She is holding my dad's side of the family hostage, as far as family albums etc. go. She does that with her own family too; several of her siblings and cousins have estranged themselves from her because of this behavior. When her husband -- my uncle died -- I attended the funeral but not the reception afterward, and I haven't spoken to my aunt in over five years, because of who she is, and her deplorable behavior. |
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#8
May 29, 2017, 08:50 PM
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I would unfriend , based on the letter you want to send to your father , you're uncle need not be the go between and making stupid and or hurtful comments.
You're Facebook is yours to do as you wish . I dropped lots of family off mine
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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