[Depressed-Fiance]

I'd just like to ask you all (and I think I know the answer to this question) but:

If I have a habit of putting my hands in my pockets and my ex would tell me not to put them in my pockets in a half serious/half joking way, do you think that could be considered controlling behaviour?

I believe it could fall under controlling behaviour but just wanted some second opinions.

Thank you

[Sunflower123]

It could be strongly interpreted that way.

[divine1966]

It depends on circumstances. If you put your hands in the pockets at the event where people need to hold hands or fold hands certain way or maybe at a very serious occasion ( like I don't recommend putting hands in a pocket when you meet a queen of England)

Also if she did it in a joking way then maybe it's not a problem. Or maybe it's important to her like not whistling inside or not spitting etc

[~Christina]

You know the answer. Why worry about if she was controlling? Hands in pockets ? Have you found a Therapist to talk all this through face to face?

Are you trying to build social skills or still trying to understand your Ex ???

Focus on moving forward is really the best advice offered

Good wishes

[divine1966]

I personally think that posting snipets of mundane small episodes of every day life without context and asking if it's abusive, isn't productive or helping you.

It's like asking "is buying a new purse wrong?". No it's not. BUT if you have starving children at home then yes it is.

Or "is it wrong and selfish of my spouse to leave kitchen a mess?" Yes perhaps it is. BUT it's not if he had to run to the hospital because his mother is dying or if he fell ill.

Posting these little snippets without context doesn't tell us much about nature of your relationship or about your ex. From what you said before it sounds as she was abusuve and you are lucky to get rid of her, but those little examples they dont tell us much. It's impossible to analyze them out of context