I Hate You...No Wait! I Love You!...I Think?

So I have this former co-worker, and I'm very confused by his behavior. I'm an introvert, but over time, I've grown tired of doing everything alone. With the help of my therapist, I've been trying to branch out and meet new people. That's where this co-worker comes in.

I'm an empath. I'm very good at reading people's energy, and from the get go, I got "off" vibes from this coworker. He was nice enough, we had similar interests, etc, and I thought he could be someone that I could potentially be friends with. Well...I'm not too sure anymore. Someone on shift asked him if the two of us were friends, and I was clearly in earshot. His response was a nasty, and almost offended, "no." It wasn't in a joking manner either. That really hurt me, because again, I was looking to develop a friendship with this person outside of work, but after hearing that, why would I even bother? I started distancing myself, because...who wouldn't? You just said we aren't friends, and acted as if you didn't want to be friends. Well, this coworker latched onto me, and would make comments about how we need to hangout, and keep in touch once I moved. This floored me, based on previous statements. However, at the same time, he would mock me in front of our other co-workers and customers, and I sorta felt like they were all making fun of me/talking crap behind my back. Again, distanced myself from the negativity.

I just moved cross country, because I got an amazing job opportunity. Before, I left, this co-worker, contradicting his previous behavior, kept saying how much he was going to miss me. Before I left I thought maybe I was just being too sensitive and that I couldn't take a joke, so I gave him another chance. Things were going well. I even ended up getting him a signed poster at a convention I went to that he couldn't attend. Well that all came crashing down when a newer co-worker called him out on his crap. I had left the room, came back in, and this co-worker had said something about how I care about him the most. The new girl turned to me in front of everyone and said, "when you left the room he said that he doesn't care about you." It was silent. The co-worker froze, and seemed so flustered and tried to deny it, but it was clear that what she said was true. Others then piped in and agreed with the new girl. Again, I felt hurt, and stupid (especially because I got a poster signed for him, and could've got something else signed for myself). I'm thankful that, that girl had the balls to tell me in front of everyone, but my heart kinda sank because a lot of my trust issues stem from people in my past talking about me behind my back.

He texts me every so often about how he wants to come and visit, and how we should travel together, but...that's not happening.

I'm just...confused? What do you guys think about his behavior?

I think his behavior was appalling and you're well rid of him whether he was ever your friend or not. I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience. I'm glad you got a new opportunity and moved on. What if you blocked him? He's a jerk. Best wishes.

Hello MikeysAlienx: I'm sorry I can't really comment with regard to the behavior you describe. However I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

Hello MikeysAlienx, I see this is your first post so welcome to PC! I hope you find your time here to be of benefit.

This co-worker's behaviour seems very much in line with what elementary school kids would act like, very immature. I would personally drop him but you need to ask yourself what you really want.

Thank you for reply, Jennifer . I always think I'm overreacting, or that this is just how "normal" people act, so it's good to hear that you think his behavior is appalling too. He was definitely never a friend, and won't ever be, that's for sure.

Thank you!

Hiya! Thanks for the reply That's exactly what I was thinking! It seemed very juvenile, and really threw me off. I had a lot of toxic friends like him back in high school, so I should've known better. I guess I really need to learn to go with my gut. Like I told Jennifer, I always think I'm overreacting, too sensitive, or missing out on some universal social cue. I let my anxieties cloud my judgment.

lol, I never picked him up to be able to drop him . He's definitely not the kind of person I want around, and I will never take him up on any of his offers to travel together or hangout.