[shakespeare47]

We've been married since 1999. And I'm starting to notice a pattern. It seems she is taken in by two-faced people.

It's happened before. Someone we both know would say nasty things about her to me, but act really nice to her. I told her about it, and she just blew me off... I can only assume she must have thought I wasn't being honest. I think she is starting to figure out what kind of person he was... and thankfully that guy is out of our life.

Now it's happening again. Someone she works with is saying pretty hostile things about her to me, and yet she acts like they're best buddies. I told her gently the other day that I'd be careful how much to trust the guy.

In both cases, I'd say it was a deliberate attempt to undermine our relationship.

[s4ndm4n2006]

Unfortunately you've done what you can. you've brought up the issue with her and put the ball squarely in her court. If she wants to blow it off, the best you can do is wait for her to find out on her own that she can't trust the person. It's disturbing I know to think you have to wait for someone to be hurt to learn their lesion but some people are that stubborn and bad at listening to advice.

[shakespeare47]

I wouldn't want to be in his shoes when "the karma hits the fan." (hey, I think I just coined a phrase).

I'm what my husband terms 'gullible', in that I always think the best of people. It's lead to me being hurt a few times in life because people can be two faced.

What I will say is as I have gone through life although I still think the best of people I temper it a little now, it hurts a lot less when someone reveals another side to themselves.

What I am surprised with is that these people are bad mouthing your wife to you? Are they trying to goad you? That sounds like really bad behaviour/living dangerously.

[shakespeare47]

I can't know their motives... but, it sure seems like they are goading me. Esp. the first case I mentioned (the guy who is out of our lives). I'd have to say I have pretty good circumstantial evidence.