how long should I give him?

I have been with this man for 8 years.

Six months ago his father died. Four months ago his dog died. I know he has been through a lot. I lost a parent before and his dog was a big part of my life also.

He has been very difficult since then. He is short with me. I am afraid to even say anything. Out of the blue he gets upset about the way I look at him, the tone of voice I use, etc.

He refuses to get help. I cannot even get him to take vitamins or minerals.

When is it time to give up and move on?

That's entirely up to you and how long you want to handle it. It's not unusual to be grieving 6 months after the loss of a loved one (especially a loved one). Working through the different stages of grief varies widely from person to person timewise. In addition, he was hit with 2 losses in a short period of time.

This appears to be a natural grieving process to me. He doesn't have the right to disrespect you while he does it though and I would tell him this. I hope he works through it soon. Play it by ear. If it continues, you'll have to decide whether to stay or go since he won't accept help. I wish you the best.

It varies from person to person.. it's clear that he's grieving, but obviosuly that doesn't mean you have to suffer in the processo. I'd suggest to talk with him about his behavior, if you haven't already. Hopefully it won't take it the wrong way. On the meantime, keep being supportive as yo've been until now.

Hi-- I remember when my Dad died and when my first wife died in both those cases the very worst times were pretty much exactly six months after they died. I dont know why exactly but there was a buildup of resentment and anger at the fact that these wonderful people were still dead (not exactly logical there, eh?) and yet other people were just blithely moving on with their lives. Other than that I'm pretty clueless about what you should do, but I hope PCentral is of some use.

How was he prior to the deaths?

So you feel he's changed and no longer himself. This happens, especially after tragic events.
Firstly you need to understand he's still the man you love, except he's been going through emotionally traumatic experienced which have greatly impacted him.
I would suggest thinking of solutions which do not require his compliance since that doesn't seem to work.
For example, inviting a therapist home by surprise and be there for him, or perhaps surprise him with a new dog (different breed since the same breed will bring up saddening nostalgia). That's all I can think of right now.

i think he hasn't had enough time to grieve and he needs your support. Would you be willing to go with him to a support group, or a counselor? I know u said he wouldn't go on his own probably. Give him some more time!

Give him more time dudette. He's been through quite a bit in a short space of time and in order for him to bounce back you need to be there for him through thick and thin. I would also suggest some sort of councelling.

I lost my dad, my grandad and my dog in the space of three months. Oddly it wasn't until the dog died that everything hit me.
It took me a year to process the loss. Tbh, it sounds like he is struggling through the stages of grief. It is still early days especially if he is dealing with it on his own.

If you guys aren't in a place where he feels he can lean on you for support and discuss what I going on with him.
Perhaps he could see a councillor.
Wish you all the best.