[kuro92]

I need help :/ I made a post months ago on here about how I felt my best friend was toxic to me. In that post, I spoke about how she would suddenly stop taking her medications and acting very strange. She would call me up at all odd times of the day to tell me things that made no sense (ex: thinking everyone is conspiring against her/thinking people are trying to kill her) She would expect me to drop whatever I was doing to go help her and I slowly grew tired of it since I am going through a lot as well. Or she would lash out at me for not being a good friend. I'll be honest, I do sometimes vanish for a week/reply slowly unless it's an emergency, but I just wish she would understand I'm mentally exhausted from my own problems which she never paid much attention to.

My dad had a severe second heart attack where he was hospitalized for a year/almost died. It's been 1 year since then, but he still requires a lot of care. He's very stubborn and grumpy the majority of the time so it's very difficult for me at home.

The last several times we hung out, she would just criticize me heavily about my appearance/my life decisions or the whole time we hung out would be awkward and only last about 2 hours before she told me she was tired and ask me to leave. She was nothing like this before. She was extremely kind and understanding. She was the first person in a long time that I considered a best friend and found a lot in common with. She started changing drastically after being in a toxic relationship. The guy basically used her and at one point told her to stop taking her medication or he wouldn't stay with her since he didn't believe in it. Ever since then she's been a completely different person. She was forced into a hospital at one point for attempting suicide where they forced her back on her pills, but it didn't last long before she decided she didn't want them again because she believes it makes her weak to take them.
Her mom is very toxic as well. At times she would ask me to go pick up her daughter from the hospital/take her home while I was at work and to take care of her. She never would even bother to visit her own daughter while she was in the hospital.

Well...it's been about 2 months since I decided this friendship is causing me too much harm. I blocked her on my phone and I'm starting to think maybe I made a mistake. I'm missing her a lot, but the old her :/ I've tried taking to her before about how I was going through a lot and just wish she would stop criticizing me/hurting my feelings, but she got extremely defensive and basically told me she didn't care if our friendship ended. I took the high road at that point and just apologized for not being there enough/tried to mend the relationship. I miss having a best friend. She was the only person I was close to besides my boyfriend. Part of me wants to just text her and tell her how I was just very stressed out/needed time to myself and pick up from there. I'm so terrified though to try and just get hurt again or end up in the cycle where she's just berating me about not being a good friend/refusing to take care of herself.

[Sunflower123]

What is leading you to believe you made a mistake? You miss the old her. You are still adjusting to the loss. I'm not saying you shouldn't text her. Just think through the things she was doing and could continue to do that could harm your mental health. If she is open to discussing the problems great! Good luck and best wishes.