[rdgrad15]

A while ago, I used to hang out with someone I used to be friends with, but eventually she no longer seemed interested. This is a different person, not the same one I mentioned in a previous post. She would completely flake out on plans and just ignore my texts all together and if she said she was free on a certain day and I asked if she wanted to hang out, she was suddenly no longer free. Well I don't take that crap from anyone so I obviously stopped hanging out with someone who no longer shows an interest in being friends.

Well just a few days ago, that person messaged me on facebook complaining that she is sick of someone flaking out on her when she makes plans with them, not responding to texts, and just not being very reliable in general, exactly the same thing she does. I came very close to letting her know that she does the exact same thing, but I decided not to. Didn't think it would be worth it. Has anyone ever had someone do something to you, and then later on they complain that someone else is doing that exact same thing to them? It can be frustrating and hypocritical.

I sometimes wonder if it is a sense of entitlement or a sense of snobbishness since they come off like they can treat people that way but then get offended if they get treated the same way. How did you deal with that? Should I have said something or was it best that I just ignored it? I did ignore her since I felt like that was the more right thing to do, but sometimes I wonder if I should have said something. To me, it feels like she may have become stuck up in a way. She never really did have any friends in college since she didn't see the point in friendships. She didn't have problems, just simply didn't care about having friends.

Nothing wrong with that. No one should be forced to have friends. But I have noticed recently that she has definitely changed. Not sure if it is something from her family since she is super close to them or if something else happened. She would say she is busy but then post on facebook that she is drinking with her family. Nothing wrong with it, it just shows that she prefers to be with her family, but for some reason, can't be honest about it. What do you think is the reason some people complain about the things that happen to them, if they do the same things to others? I feel like it could be entitlement or just them being stuck up but not sure. I haven't spoken to her since, it just simply made me think about this topic that's all. As I said before, I am no longer friends with this person and this isn't the same person I posted about before, it was just something that made me think of this kind of topic and behavior in others.

[lizardlady]

Don't know about the person you were friends with but I used to know someone similar. I finally concluded they had a sense of entitlement for a variety of reasons.

Personally, I think you were wise not to point out that she does the same thing to others. That sort of thing is usually like trying to teach a pig to sing (accomplishes nothing except to annoy you and the pig)

[Sunflower123]

I'm not sure how to explain her behavior other then she is being a hypocrite and is very short sighted. It's a good thing she's not your friend anymore. Best wishes.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by lizardlady

Don't know about the person you were friends with but I used to know someone similar. I finally concluded they had a sense of entitlement for a variety of reasons.

Personally, I think you were wise not to point out that she does the same thing to others. That sort of thing is usually like trying to teach a pig to sing (accomplishes nothing except to annoy you and the pig)

I agree, people like that have a sense of entitlement or are stuck up. And I agree with your comparison, pointing out their hypocritical ways does nothing but make things worse. I only do that as a last resort. Very rare for me to do so.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I'm not sure how to explain her behavior other then she is being a hypocrite and is very short sighted. It's a good thing she's not your friend anymore. Best wishes.

I agree. Something definitely changed in her. Not sure if it was family influence, or a personality change, or possibly that she never really cared but is really showing it more now than ever before. Yes I am glad I am not friends with her anymore.

She sounds insecure, hopelessly calling out how badly some people treat her, while doing the same thing to others. She doesn't sound established.

From my experience, people who complain about other people's behaviors are likely to behave like them, because instead of understanding this kind of behavior hurts, they rant about it, yet because of insecurity they wonder if this is the way to treat people back.

I knew a woman who once ignored my message, and later responded "Sorry for not responding, it's just that other people have been this way to me so it has influenced me".

I suggest not investing energies in feeling sorry for her, because from my experience those type of people who are uncertain about their types of peers are more likely to contact people to experiment or compromise rather than be truly interested in them.

[rdgrad15]

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

She sounds insecure, hopelessly calling out how badly some people treat her, while doing the same thing to others. She doesn't sound established.

From my experience, people who complain about other people's behaviors are likely to behave like them, because instead of understanding this kind of behavior hurts, they rant about it, yet because of insecurity they wonder if this is the way to treat people back.

I knew a woman who once ignored my message, and later responded "Sorry for not responding, it's just that other people have been this way to me so it has influenced me".

I suggest not investing energies in feeling sorry for her, because from my experience those type of people who are uncertain about their types of peers are more likely to contact people to experiment or compromise rather than be truly interested in them.

What you said makes sense. Wow, that woman you mentioned sounds extremely insecure and feels the need to ignore others to make herself feel better after being ignored herself. Yeah I agree, I definitely do not feel sorry for the person I mentioned. She is obviously immature and has a superiority mindset, may have become conceited to hide insecurities.