[Wila]

My husband have said multiple times that he think he is the reason I'm mentally ill. I really don't know how to react. I don't belive it, I've had symptoms of MI since I was a small child. On the other hand I'm so much worse now then I've ever were as a child

I really love my husband but sometimes he'll say things like how my illness makes him feel ill. (That really hurts since I don't want to hurt him) Allthough it's logical that he gets affected by how I feel.

I wish I had a good answer to give in these situations.

[Wila]

Noone with an opinion?

[baboo5]

Do you think he contributes to your MI?

[MickeyCheeky]

You say you don't believe that, but at the same time you don't know how to respond.. perhaps there is a little part of yourself that DOES think that? Idk :/ If you really don't believe he's the cause, though, all you can do is reassure him that it's not his fault. It's normal to feel guilty about ourselves when someone we love feels bad If you feel worse now, it might have to do with a variety of reasons, not necessarely related to your H.

About his comments, you should give more details, but it doesnt't seem like he wants to put the blame on you.. I guess he's just stressed out because of all of this. If these comments bothers you, perhaps just talk to him about this..

[Sunflower123]

Does your husband give you specific reasons for why he is to blame? Is your marriage stressful or difficult? Your mental illness could be worse then when you were a child because some illnesses progress and also because your treatment may not be the same. Just some thoughts. If you don't believe he is contributing to your mental illness, you could reassure him until he gets it. Best wishes.

[Wila]

Thanks for your answers! I'm 100% sure he don't want to blame me with his comments it's only my low selfesteem that makes me bother.

[Rose76]

I tend to believe that, if a person has a mental disorder, it's not their fault . . . but managing it is their responsibility. The presence of the disorder shouldn't be the theme of a person's existence. If you're not going around all the time talking about "my condition," then neither should he. He's too focused on this.

[Wila]

Well we've made a deal that I won't lie when he asks how I feel (I always replied fine no matter what before this deal) and his comments usually comes after he asks how I feel and I answer him.

[Rose76]

I go through something similar with my boyfriend. He asks how I am, but "fine" is really the only answer he wants to hear. That frustrates me. I hate to pretend I'm fine, when I'm not . . . so I've learned to just say "not too great today" and, then, not expect much sympathy.

Some people are naturally more sensitive, both to other people's feelings, and to their own.

Perhaps your husband is emotionally sensitive? Perhaps he feels like he is somehow not good enough for you and that he is at fault if you're hurting?

If so, love him and reassure him that it isn't his fault. People like that are a welcomed breath of fresh air among a world full of selfish humans that don't care.