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  #1  
Old Jul 02, 2017, 07:29 AM
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shakespeare47 shakespeare47 is offline
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Anyone else been involved in conversations like this?

Me: So, I noticed that X
The other: No it isn't. [scoffs] You're wrong.

How does one go on from there?
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My business is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to try and make facts harmonise with my aspirations. T.H. Huxley

Last edited by shakespeare47; Jul 02, 2017 at 10:48 AM.
Thanks for this!
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  #2  
Old Jul 02, 2017, 10:23 AM
yagr yagr is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shakespeare47 View Post
Anyone else been involved in conversations like this?

Me: So, I noticed that X
The other: No it isn't. [scoffs] You're wrong.

How does one go on from there?
Really? Why is that?
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My gummy-bear died. My unicorn ran away. My imaginary friend got kidnapped. The voices in my head aren't talking to me. Oh no, I'm going sane!
  #3  
Old Jul 04, 2017, 06:04 PM
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shakespeare47 shakespeare47 is offline
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If the answer was:
A: Really? Why is that?

In my experience, the response would be:
The Other: I don't know why you're wrong.
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My business is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to try and make facts harmonise with my aspirations. T.H. Huxley
  #4  
Old Jul 04, 2017, 06:57 PM
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it'sgrowtime it'sgrowtime is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shakespeare47 View Post
Me: So, I noticed that X
The other: No it isn't. [scoffs] You're wrong.

How does one go on from there?
I say, "what is it then?"

Then you have an opportunity to hear their opinion (be ready to scoff haha).

Edit...just saw the rest of the posts. Sounds like this person is being defensive and angry? Maybe the subject you're commenting on is a sore one for them.
  #5  
Old Jul 04, 2017, 09:12 PM
Rpmblank Rpmblank is offline
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[QUOTE=shakespeare47;5720197]Anyone else been involved in conversations like this?

Me: So, I noticed that X
The other: No it isn't. [scoffs] You're wrong.

How does one go on from there?[/QUOTE

Me: Oh I didn't realize....I thought because of this...then the result was....
The other: No you didn't take into account.....
Me: Gee, I'm glad you told me. Sorry I made a presumption.
  #6  
Old Jul 04, 2017, 11:16 PM
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Crazy Hitch Crazy Hitch is online now
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Totally depends - what was the topic of conversation?
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Old Jul 05, 2017, 05:34 AM
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shakespeare47 shakespeare47 is offline
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[QUOTE=Rpmblank;5724064]
Quote:
Originally Posted by shakespeare47 View Post
Anyone else been involved in conversations like this?

Me: So, I noticed that X
The other: No it isn't. [scoffs] You're wrong.

How does one go on from there?[/QUOTE

Me: Oh I didn't realize....I thought because of this...then the result was....
The other: No you didn't take into account.....
Me: Gee, I'm glad you told me. Sorry I made a presumption.
In my experience, it's more like this:
Me: So, I noticed that X
The other: No it isn't. [scoffs] You're wrong.
Me: Could you elaborate?
The other:You wouldn't understand
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My business is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to try and make facts harmonise with my aspirations. T.H. Huxley
  #8  
Old Jul 05, 2017, 05:36 AM
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shakespeare47 shakespeare47 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch View Post
Totally depends - what was the topic of conversation?
Why would the topic make a difference?
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My business is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to try and make facts harmonise with my aspirations. T.H. Huxley
  #9  
Old Jul 05, 2017, 06:59 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shakespeare47 View Post
Why would the topic make a difference?
I think it makes very much of a difference.

It depends if the topic was factual or subjective.

Totally fine for someone to point out a factual indiscretion.

If I make a swooping statement about something in general, "All men are arrogant," and my friend points out that's rather irrational thinking, then it could suggest my subjective thinking is way off.

So back to my question. What was the topic of conversation?

Disclaimer: I absolutely 150% do not think all men are arrogant, I'm using that to demonstrate a point.
  #10  
Old Jul 05, 2017, 07:37 PM
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The problem is not his words, but his scoffing in the first place.
Thanks for this!
InvisiBlonde
  #11  
Old Jul 06, 2017, 06:47 AM
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shakespeare47 shakespeare47 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch View Post
I think it makes very much of a difference.

It depends if the topic was factual or subjective.

Totally fine for someone to point out a factual indiscretion.

If I make a swooping statement about something in general, "All men are arrogant," and my friend points out that's rather irrational thinking, then it could suggest my subjective thinking is way off.

So back to my question. What was the topic of conversation?
I have no specific conversation in mind.

Imagine these 2 conversations.
Conversation A (subjective)
Me: I noticed that these strawberries are sweeter than the ones we had yesterday. [imagine that we both ate the strawberries yesterday and today]
The Other: No they aren't. [scoffs] You're wrong.

Conversation B (factual)
Me: I noticed that Alaska is more than twice as big as Texas.
The Other: No it isn't. [scoffs] You're wrong.
__________________
My business is to teach my aspirations to conform themselves to fact, not to try and make facts harmonise with my aspirations. T.H. Huxley

Last edited by shakespeare47; Jul 06, 2017 at 09:40 AM.
  #12  
Old Jul 06, 2017, 05:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shakespeare47 View Post
I have no specific conversation in mind.

Imagine these 2 conversations.
Conversation A (subjective)
Me: I noticed that these strawberries are sweeter than the ones we had yesterday. [imagine that we both ate the strawberries yesterday and today]
The Other: No they aren't. [scoffs] You're wrong.

Conversation B (factual)
Me: I noticed that Alaska is more than twice as big as Texas.
The Other: No it isn't. [scoffs] You're wrong.
Do you just make these questions up randomly then in your posts if your question didn't relate to any topic?
  #13  
Old Jul 06, 2017, 06:14 PM
Anonymous50987
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shakespeare47 View Post
I have no specific conversation in mind.

Imagine these 2 conversations.
Conversation A (subjective)
Me: I noticed that these strawberries are sweeter than the ones we had yesterday. [imagine that we both ate the strawberries yesterday and today]
The Other: No they aren't. [scoffs] You're wrong.

Conversation B (factual)
Me: I noticed that Alaska is more than twice as big as Texas.
The Other: No it isn't. [scoffs] You're wrong.
The Other's comments are non-productive.
You have two choices - you can either "enter the dance" by reasoning with him, or focusing on The Other's flaw of scoffing you, stand for yourself and let yourself guide how the conversation should go.

Instead of reasoning with him, how about saying something like "ok, if you have something useful to add then I'd love to hear". Doing so leaves the ball at his hand, and you instruct him with choices made by you.
If he contributes, you can get along with the conversation naturally. If he continues to scoff or speak negatively, speak of your personal needs such as "I prefer you tell me what you know rather than what I don't know".
Thanks for this!
it'sgrowtime, shakespeare47
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