[Otherworlder92]

I feel like I might talk to my wife about moving to another town. I'm just tired of the people of the town we live in being so judgmental of my wife and I because of things that we didn't even do. I feel like we like should just move somewhere else so we won't have to deal with this anymore and so we can avoid having are daughter having to deal with this problem. Is there any advice anyone can give me ?

[healingme4me]

Will it affect your income? Have you ever had these issues anywhere else? I mainly ask that last question, as it's something that I ask myself when considering change because of the notion that no matter where I go, there I am. Is it something that if you dug your heels in, that has potential to change given time?
My dad moved me about 7 times in 2 years right in the middle of early adolescence. I've oft wondered what unsettled him.

What you are running from, is it guaranteed to be gone by changing your zip code?

[Crazy Hitch]

Hmmmm ... how many people in your town? It's surely not a population of 10!

I ask because I'm wondering how much of this is in perspective against the total number of people in your town.

If it's uber small, under 100, okay you may have a point.

It also depends on who is directing this negative attention towards you and how influential they are. Sure, you can run, but it doesn't always fix everything.

How has your daughter wound up in this complex situation? Are people saying things to her?

What on earth is it that even happened in the first place?

[Sunflower123]

I would need more information to say. It's not clear what your situation is.

[Otherworlder92]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Will it affect your income? Have you ever had these issues anywhere else? I mainly ask that last question, as it's something that I ask myself when considering change because of the notion that no matter where I go, there I am. Is it something that if you dug your heels in, that has potential to change given time?
My dad moved me about 7 times in 2 years right in the middle of early adolescence. I've oft wondered what unsettled him.

What you are running from, is it guaranteed to be gone by changing your zip code?

Moving would affect my income because I would have to find a new job if I moved but I wouldn't have these issues elsewhere because no one would know of my family's bad reputation so I'm hoping that the problem would be gone if I left this town but on the other hand I could wait this out but that could take years.

[MickeyCheeky]

What do they say to you and your family, exactly?

[healingme4me]

It makes sense to want to get far enough away from the umbrella that is your family of origin. Sometimes certain family members stand out as the good apple that fell far from the tree. Are those in your community unable to not guilt you by association?

[Otherworlder92]

Originally Posted by Crazy Hitch

Hmmmm ... how many people in your town? It's surely not a population of 10!

I ask because I'm wondering how much of this is in perspective against the total number of people in your town.

If it's uber small, under 100, okay you may have a point.

It also depends on who is directing this negative attention towards you and how influential they are. Sure, you can run, but it doesn't always fix everything.

How has your daughter wound up in this complex situation? Are people saying things to her?

What on earth is it that even happened in the first place?

The town that I live in is kind of smallish but it's still continuing to grow and the people that are directing this negative attention are mainly these families that have been feuding with my family for the past three generations and they have very little influence but I have to deal with them regularly still and my daughter wound up in this situation because she was born into this but no one has said anything to her directly yet but I'm concerned that they will. What happened in the first place to start this situation was my grandfather had a land dispute with one of his neighbors and from there he continued to make enemies with the other families for different reasons.

[Otherworlder92]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

What do they say to you and your family, exactly?

When people say stuff to me it's usually about my mom being a drunken disgrace to the town or they bring up something that one of my family did years ago and when they say stuff to my wife they question if she is a good mother and they say that they are going to call child services on us for some bogus reason and they question her if she cheated on me and got pregnant and if she is lying to me about me being the real father of are daughter.

[Otherworlder92]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

It makes sense to want to get far enough away from the umbrella that is your family of origin. Sometimes certain family members stand out as the good apple that fell far from the tree. Are those in your community unable to not guilt you by association?

Apparently they are unable not to guilt by association because I have been tiring to get past this for years but they won't let me forget what others in my family have done.

Time to move.

Start your journey by getting your resume in order and putting yourself out there. It costs nothing and nobody needs to know yet.

It may take a while (it may happen straight away!) but you got this.

[Otherworlder92]

Here is an update on the situation, today I had a conversion with a woman that I would rather not talk to again but talking with her made me realized that I need to start to preparing to move my family to somewhere else. I've already started to get my resume in order and I've started to look for a new job.

[divine1966]

Time to move