[MrUnHappy]

My wife and I have been at odds for the last several years mainly over the fact that she wanted to sell our house so that we could move across town to be closer to our son. The real reason, however, is that her parents relocated and bought a house right down the street and she couldn’t stand having them that close. I get that, but I’m only about 7 years away from retiring and I really didn’t want to take on a larger mortgage than the one we already had. We separated for about 9 months and during that time we would still go out together and it felt like we were becoming close again. So she moved back home on the premise that I agreed we would sell the house and move. We subsequently sold the house, which is something I really regret doing now because in the area she wants to live we can only get about 1/2 the house we had before for the same money, which I was afraid would happen and why I didn’t want to do it in the first place. Now I am severely depressed and angry and resentful toward her and I feel like I just want to give up on everything. Having a very difficult time functioning at work and feel like I’m losing control of every aspect of my life. I have an appointment with a counselor but that wont be for two more weeks. Just need an ear right now

[continuosly blue]

I sure understand how you feel, doing something against your best judgement just because your pressured into it. You want to make her happy. Be the nice guy. Well now you know what happens to nice guys. We get screwed, and not in a pleasurable way. I've given in many times. They are just selfish. Only care about themselves. Not how you feel. Your just the mule.
The move has already been made so now you have no choice but to live with it.
Find peace with this somehow or the resentment and anger will eat you alive.
Plus probably end you up in divorce court. She won't care since she'll be " close to her family ". As you might have guessed I've been down a similar road.
I needed to save myself. Find something to do that makes you feel good enough to get your mind off of this. And think ahead about self preservation. Don't mess up at work. Your going to need and maintain control over your own life.
I've found that the further along you go in marriage and in life it all boils down to the primal instincts of self preservation. Compromise is something selfish people don't deal in. Protect yourself from here on out. Find as many consoling "ears" as you can. Good luck and hang in there.

[Crazy Hitch]

I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this.

It's a very unfortunate situation.

If you were look at it differently, consider this for a moment. Had you two continued to live so close to her folks, she'd be miserable, she'd make your life miserable, and it would make your marriage miserable.

Happy wife, happy life.

Yes, your place is going to be smaller, and although it's a sacrifice, it could long term cause your marriage more stability than had you stayed.

[Sunflower123]

I hear you. I'm sorry you're in this position. I am glad you're going for therapy. Like one of the previous posters said, there are pros and cons to both situations. Best wishes.

[MrUnHappy]

Thanks for all of the kind words and advice. It means a lot.

[MrUnHappy]

Well, the situation worsens. Not long after we moved hed Dad is diagnosed with lung cancer and now today, brain cancer. Pert of me feels really bad for her Dad (even though he and I haven't spoken for over a year due to some other spat). I don't wish cancer on anybody. The other part of me is angry though because we used to live righ up the street and could make ourselves available whenever they needed us, which they really do now because her Mom has early stages of dementia, which continually worsens. Now it's a 50 mile trek across town to get to them. My problem with my wife is she deals strictly in emotion and does not seem to look at things from any kind of logical perspective. In consequence she continues to make bad decisions and drags me down the hole with her. I told her time and again that while I understand her anxiety about having her parents so close, that there would come a time when we'd be thankful they were as close as they were. Well, that time has arrived. It i really a stretch for me to act sympathetic toward her when she has created this difficult situation herself.