I've had this "problem" that I didn't know was one until recently.

A lot of people I don't know give me a hard time sometimes. It's hard to explain, so I'll give some examples.

One time I couldn't afford a school book until the last minute. I was barely able to support myself paying for schooling and housing with a low-paying job on top of financial aid. When I went to buy the book in the school bookstore, the woman at the counter harshly berated me for buying it so late. She seemed genuinely angry at me.

Many other times my grades were slipping, and school officials would pry deeply into my life and give me a hard time for letting my grades drop. I already felt terrible as it was, being the reason why my grades dropped, so I felt even worse. I felt horrible feeling forced to open up deep, very personal feelings to complete strangers.

I usually feel very anxious lately about giving any place a call, so I left calling a former employer to update my address late, until the last minute, in order to get my w2. The woman on the phone was nearly yelling at me and saying how irresponsible I was. Honestly, this is exactly what I feared, and why I put it off so late.

I was renting a place at an apartment with some plants that required water every few days. There were times I was under so much pressure with financial problems, work, school, etc, that I couldn't find the energy to water them. I had two neighbors in the apartment routinely complain to me that I haven't been watering them, and how they need to be watered. This wasn't in the rental contract, and the plants were okay, just wilting a bit sometimes. I did water them, just not as often as ideal, so they were fine. And this was only during times I was very stressed, as I usually watered them often. My neighbors also complained that the flowers needed to be pruned.

I even recently called about an eye appointment a few days before it was due because I had lost the exact day and time, and the woman on the phone berated me for asking right before the appointment.

Those are the examples I can remember, but it happens to me a lot.

I thought this was normal, and that I was honestly just a terrible adult who couldn't keep up with everyone. I recently discussed this with a friend, though, who opened my eyes that strangers didn't have the right to berate me for things not involving them.

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, but is this true? Is this normal in society to berate those "falling behind?" I don't feel like I'm fully convinced this is a bad thing yet. Maybe I do actually deserve this comments if I'm doing so poorly.

People can be literally assholes sometimes. The thing is, sometimes, if we don't speak up and say how that's not ok, or to say "I don't appreciate your tone," or "that hurts my feelings," or "that's not ok with me," people don't know. Or, they just get away with it.

What sticks out to me, is your story about people on you for your grades. That would not sit right with me, either. It sounds like they were trying to get to the bottom of what was going on with you, but that you weren't comfortable talking about it. That, and the eye doctor appt lady. Her response sounds preposterous.

I have been inappropriately berated before, and I have been appropriately berated. Neither feels good. The inappropriate one might feel worse. It's hard to tell sometimes, because people are "honest" in their attacks. But that just makes it worse.

Anyway, I'm sorry that these things have happened to you and that strangers were rude to you.

[Bill3]

Is this normal in society to berate those "falling behind?"

I think that those people were being unprofessional, as well as rude and unkind.

No it is not normal to be berated under those circumstances.

Thank you very much. Wanted some outside perspective.

[Sunflower123]

I'm sorry you've had these experiences. I'm glad you got some perspective that this isn't normal so you can decide how to address or ignore it.