[Jellyfish18]

Here is the situation. I do not have a good relationship with parents. I recently moved into an apartment, there was one other guy but he has gone on holiday now so I am alone atm. Due to also my own issues I have been in bed for two months already. I contacted a few old friends from childhood but they were always busy or did not respond.
This town is small, there is no actual club here. I tried volunteering but during summer they don't really need you often.
1. If you wanted to meet or hang out with people, where would you go? What would you do with your day?
2. I am actually a sociable person but I also often end up alone unfortunately? I had a lonely childhood mostly and have no siblings. One of ex friends met me once and said "what are you going to do, be a loner/hermit"? In my language they used a word which means same and is pretty negative. They didn't meet up with me again and sometimes I worry it's because they think badly of me for being alone - maybe - and if they do it is not my fault. I don't want to be like this so what should I do?
Do you think this is what put others off me? Do you think they see I am lonely or just consider me as an outsider and that is the reason they do not want to hang out?

Originally Posted by Jellyfish18

Here is the situation. I do not have a good relationship with parents. I recently moved into an apartment, there was one other guy but he has gone on holiday now so I am alone atm. Due to also my own issues I have been in bed for two months already. I contacted a few old friends from childhood but they were always busy or did not respond.
This town is small, there is no actual club here. I tried volunteering but during summer they don't really need you often.
1. If you wanted to meet or hang out with people, where would you go? What would you do with your day?
2. I am actually a sociable person but I also often end up alone unfortunately? I had a lonely childhood mostly and have no siblings. One of ex friends met me once and said "what are you going to do, be a loner/hermit"? In my language they used a word which means same and is pretty negative. They didn't meet up with me again and sometimes I worry it's because they think badly of me for being alone - maybe - and if they do it is not my fault. I don't want to be like this so what should I do?
Do you think this is what put others off me? Do you think they see I am lonely or just consider me as an outsider and that is the reason they do not want to hang out?

Having once lived in a small town, they can be isolating. Most of the socializing was done around school, work and special events like the 4th of July Ice Cream Social/fireworks, school programs/sports and Christmas Eve caroling. My best friends were my retired neighbors who were the same age as my grandparents but they were involved in many interesting things such as digging up an Anasazi Indian ruin in conjunction with one of our state universities that was located on their property. So interesting to watch and they built their own home single handedly too--that also fascinated me. After high school I attended college in a bigger town then joined the military which enabled me to meet other people. Is it possible for you to attend school in a bigger town?

[Jellyfish18]

Originally Posted by Hopingtrying

Having once lived in a small town, they can be isolating. Most of the socializing was done around school, work and special events like the 4th of July Ice Cream Social/fireworks, school programs/sports and Christmas Eve caroling. My best friends were my retired neighbors who were the same age as my grandparents but they were involved in many interesting things such as digging up an Anasazi Indian ruin in conjunction with one of our state universities that was located on their property. So interesting to watch and they built their own home single handedly too--that also fascinated me. After high school I attended college in a bigger town then joined the military which enabled me to meet other people. Is it possible for you to attend school in a bigger town?

Yes it is but please see my last sentences. I worry there is something about me that puts off others. After they get to know me better, few people have stuck around. Then the "old friends" situation. Anyway I'm just worried. : (

Feeling like an outsider is a common situation. Whenever you move, marry, join a new group, etc you can feel that way but many insiders (of course not everyone) find interesting. In a small town things are quite routine and when a new person comes along they bring experiences and stories that are interesting. This is a matter of your own perception. One of the best ways to combat this is to try new things or pursue a goal you are passionate about. I am starting a new job this month which helps me change up my old routine. Reading interesting novels or seeing great movies sometimes is a good conversation starter too. Get interested in things going on outside of yourself more or learn new information in order to help distract yourself from getting caught up with worry. When I was younger, I spent a lot of time working out. You could learn boxing, karate, yoga.....

[Sunflower123]

Hopingtrying has several good points. Is it possibly only your perception?

[Claire Warman]

Some people have busy lives and when they meet someone who seems maybe a little more complex they struggle to give them that time, it's a big world and lots of great people who are in similar situations, maybe now you will find some good, kind and sold friends xx