I have a sweet boyfriend, The problem is that he has a addiction problem and is selfish in certain ways, For instance if there is a show on he falls asleep and says he is ready for bed and as soon as I am heading to bed with him, He suddenly changes his mind and asks where the remote is, So I get up a few hours later and hes sleeping on the couch watching heavy metal videos or some movie opposite of what we were watching together, I do love him and he is a sweet heart, Please dont think he is a bad guy because he is not, He just has some selfish ways about him that are really bothering me and getting on my nerves, I just need to vent and talk about this to feel better, He quit drinking, Which I am very proud of, But he has to over indulge in other things, I am not getting into all of it, I am very proud he quit drinking, Whats wrong with me, Every relationship isnt perfect and he is the sweetest and most lovable, Except for his addictive side

I just needed to vent, I have alot on my mind

[Artchic528]

I'm sorry your boyfriend's selfish ways are tainting the relationship. Maybe it's time to make a stand for yourself and say, "It's me or the addiction!" Don't just say it, mean every word of it. You deserve to have a boyfriend who doesn't irk you to the point of ranting.

[pegasus]

Nothing wrong with you. You are concerned and obviously love him very much. Your boyfriend has done well to give up alcohol. Often times this past coping strategy needs other ways to cope. Sleeping and insomnia could be an issue here. Maybe you could suggest therapy tentatively. Keep venting, there is no judgement here.

[Sunflower123]

I agree with pegasus. Sending big hugs.

Originally Posted by pegasus

Nothing wrong with you. You are concerned and obviously love him very much. Your boyfriend has done well to give up alcohol. Often times this past coping strategy needs other ways to cope. Sleeping and insomnia could be an issue here. Maybe you could suggest therapy tentatively. Keep venting, there is no judgement here.

Thank you for your advice, He does see a Therapist, But I dont think it is a very good one, He is also Bipolar and on meds, We are both Bipolar and both have Ptsd

Originally Posted by Hummingbird1

I have a sweet boyfriend, The problem is that he has a addiction problem and is selfish in certain ways, For instance if there is a show on he falls asleep and says he is ready for bed and as soon as I am heading to bed with him, He suddenly changes his mind and asks where the remote is, So I get up a few hours later and hes sleeping on the couch watching heavy metal videos or some movie opposite of what we were watching together, I do love him and he is a sweet heart, Please dont think he is a bad guy because he is not, He just has some selfish ways about him that are really bothering me and getting on my nerves, I just need to vent and talk about this to feel better, He quit drinking, Which I am very proud of, But he has to over indulge in other things, I am not getting into all of it, I am very proud he quit drinking, Whats wrong with me, Every relationship isnt perfect and he is the sweetest and most lovable, Except for his addictive side

Well, no relationship is perfect. I think it's great he managed to quit his drinking addiction. It means he's aware of his imperfections and is willing to improve himself.
It has to be a combination of improving each other and with that, compromising. Because in order to truly love something, you also have to accept it for what it is. Otherwise, you wouldn't truly love it.

[Quarter life]

For me, there has to be a level of autonomy in relationships. Some need more than others...I need my alone time. It's ok to travel on the same highway together in life...but sometimes we need to be in different lanes.

[divine1966]

You don't need to turn off your show and go to bed just because he does. Keep watching your show and let him go to bed. No need to be attached to the hip.

Unfortunately selfishness is nature of the beast. He is an addict and operates like one. It's great he stopped drinking but he didn't stop being an addict.

Originally Posted by divine1966

You don't need to turn off your show and go to bed just because he does. Keep watching your show and let him go to bed. No need to be attached to the hip.

Unfortunately selfishness is nature of the beast. He is an addict and operates like one. It's great he stopped drinking but he didn't stop being an addict.

Divine, So what you are saying is the selfishness on his part is his addict talking? That makes things better for me to understand, So even though he quit drinking hasnt stopped his other addictions, Plus when he wants something that is materialistic, He wants it now, Thank you every one for your advice

Originally Posted by Quarter life

For me, there has to be a level of autonomy in relationships. Some need more than others...I need my alone time. It's ok to travel on the same highway together in life...but sometimes we need to be in different lanes.

Both of us love our music even though we dont agree on the types all the way, We both are loners and both have to have some alone time, Thank you for pointing that out to me, It will make me more understanding