I'm really sorry for posting this unnecessarily but can no longer delete it.

But I decided what to do. I guess I'm going to make a new friend. There are benefits to having them.

aieeeeee

[Sunflower123]

Yes there are. Good luck.

[Bill3]

Sounds promising!

Probably this is very trivial, but I think I made two friends! I took the bus to the store to get some stuff, and saw two people from my job there. One of them had offered to drive me the other day, but I declined because she said her mother was coming with. Anyway, I saw the two student coworkers and her mother and asked for a ride back. We spent the day walking around and got dinner together. The mom is so nice! I really like her. We also have a lot of things in common, and I feel like we could get a long really well. I think she's really smart and capable, too. She has standards and structure, and I want to talk to her more. She gives really good advice.

The problem is that I didn't get home until around 10 pm, and didn't really get to do a lot of the things I planned for myself today. Is it usually time consuming to have friends? The coworkers said we should all go out and get food at this Mexican restaurant, and I want to show them really good pho in the area, so I guess this is challenging for me. I've only had one friend that I've done things with before in the past--typically we would eat pho together. I'm kind of wary of making friends because it makes me emotionally exhausted and I worry about offending people when I need to be alone to get things done. Also, I usually get annoyed when I get too close to people and find out their problems. It reminds me of my mother and I feel like I have to manage those people and the friendship. Obviously, this means I have no friends. I also feel like I've performed a service when I'm nice to people. Then they comment on my general niceness/palatable-ness and I get offended.

I'm really surprised they still talked to me today and wanted to hang out with me more and exchanged phone numbers, even at the end of the night, because I was sharp with them on one occasion and also rejected the other girl's offer to drive me (I was surprised she wasn't offended about my reluctance to meet her mother). I hope we do hang out. My only other friend graduated and I found out one of my other "friends" didn't invite me to her party, and also has an overly simplistic view on mental challenges. She is also my competition academically and I find her nice but also arrogant. Unlike my arrogance, hers is real, because she doesn't notice she's doing it. It makes her condescending and I don't like that.

[divine1966]

Spending time with friends can be time consuming but you can also plan ahead to make sure stuff is done AND you have good time with friends! So glad to hear that you are making friends!!!!

[hvert]

I missed the original post, but I love your title I find having friends really time consuming and am never really sure how much time I should spend with friends vs. getting other things done.

[Bill3]

Probably this is very trivial, but I think I made two friends!

To me, it is significant and I am very happy for you!

The mom is so nice! I really like her. We also have a lot of things in common, and I feel like we could get a long really well. I think she's really smart and capable, too. She has standards and structure, and I want to talk to her more. She gives really good advice.

This is the upside of openness and vulnerability. If you had chosen to never connect with the mother, think of what you would have missed!

The problem is that I didn't get home until around 10 pm, and didn't really get to do a lot of the things I planned for myself today. Is it usually time consuming to have friends?

It can be, but that is something to be managed. When one is in school, for example, many times one can rely on friends to understand or at least accept it when there is studying or other work to be done.

I'm kind of wary of making friends because it makes me emotionally exhausted and I worry about offending people when I need to be alone to get things done.

As above: these can be managed. A "friend" who gets upset because you have work to do really isn't such a good friend.

Also, I usually get annoyed when I get too close to people and find out their problems. It reminds me of my mother and I feel like I have to manage those people and the friendship.

It is excellent that you are aware of why you get annoyed when you get too close to people. This awareness can remind you not manage those people even though you might always need to manage your mom.

Obviously, this means I have no friends. I also feel like I've performed a service when I'm nice to people. Then they comment on my general niceness/palatable-ness and I get offended.

You get offended because they do not see what you have done as a service?

I'm really surprised they still talked to me today and wanted to hang out with me more and exchanged phone numbers,

I'm not.