Strange boyfriend behavior?

10 months now I'm with someone who looks like the perfect guy. Very sweet, caring, fun, witty, avoidant of fights, and wishing to make everyone get along well over pushing his own opinions.

Two days ago though he did something that is in total contrast with his character. We were out with some friends we didn't know too well, apart from my best friend whom I hadn't seen for ages. Suddenly the talk becomes about what's wrong with the world. And he starts passionately saying that overpopulation is an extreme problem, and he believes that some major physical destruction has to befall on us in order to restore goodness in the world. And other such creepy things. He ignored everyone's efforts to divert the subject, almost raised a fight, ruined the mood and my evening, and made me doubt everything he has shown me so far. Not only I saw a different person, I didn't even know he felt that disappointed of the world. I know it was just one single conversation all these months, so am I overreacting? I am planning to talk about it with him next time we meet, but it made me doubt all the trust I've put in his character, and with it my love for him. I feel much pain inside right now. I can't focus on my exams. I feel lost. What do I do?

Hmmm..... I don't think you're overreacting. Your reaction is a reaction, and you felt creeped out by it. That's your right. Personally, I don't think that the subject matter he raised is creepy. He has a right to his own opinions, as does everyone, and I have heard this viewpoint before, though I know to some it may seem out there and extreme. What is a little concerning is that he almost created a fight over it and ignored the social cues to drop the subject. Clearly he is deeply passionate about his viewpoint, to the point of perhaps having tunnel vision. This can happen sometimes with issues we are most passionate about.

So you have never witnessed similar behavior in the last 10 months?

I would raise the issue with him and see what he says. Perhaps point out that it almost created a fight, which made you uncomfortable, and that everyone wanted to drop it but him... just approach it with him and see what he says. Perhaps you will shed some light on the level of discomfort he created through his passionate viewpoint.

I'm curious.. why do you feel such pain over this incident? Not judging or criticizing at all, just wondering what is causing you pain. (((Hugs)))) If you are questioning his character, it could just be a one off incident. Are you questioning the relationship too at this point?

Well my husband has OCD (its severe and only mildly controlled by meds, he is on a very low dose because of a demanding job) and he sometimes becomes obsessed with strangest topics (usually read somewhere), I just roll my eyes lol Now I sometimes have to warn him not to bring XYZ topics at a party. He usually does ok but I also usually sit by him at parties and kick (not hard lol) him under the table if he forgets. Lol lol

Actually my dad likes crazy topics too. Ignoring it is the best approach

He has mentioned these views before, but more mildly, in a grounded and logical conversation between us. He didn't sound like he craves for an apocalypse (he's not even religious). I even agreed with some, although I pointed out I see the world way more positively as a total.

Very good question! I feel painful because it made me feel unsafe socially, and because it hurt the image I had about his character. Because it made me doubt how correct is my opinion of him. Also I thought that he's a bit more social adept than me, and that made me feel more relaxed when we were with people I don't know well. Now I'm going to be tense. Mild and peaceful social approaches are important to me too, tensions are the very last resort, and I thought he shared that based on what he said.
Questioning my relationship is probably due to the shock I've felt. It probably is just one off incident, I put my hopes on that.

lol I'll try that, I hope it works!

Seems like it's more of a one off incident to me. He probably got caught up in the moment and in his passion. Perhaps express to him how you felt about it and that it caused you discomfort. He may just need to be made aware and you bringing it up may make him more mindful. It seems otherwise, he has been great, so perhaps just address it and trust the remainder of your assessment. If it keeps happening, that's a different story. ((((hugs)))))

Thank you. I needed a little hope right now, whether it works out or not (and the hug) I hope real bad that it'll work out... I feel very lucky you guys are here right now

Good, I am glad you feel a little better! I think you have every reason to be hopeful. It sounds like he's wonderful in many ways.

Just asking....was alcohol involved? Sometimes people go way over the top with an idea that comes to their head if they have had a few drinks. I know it's impossible to talk politics or world views with my family when we're drinking because they go bonkers.

No, he never drinks, or smokes, or does drugs. So no excuse there :/

It does sound like a one off. He sounds like he has many good qualities. Perhaps you could talk to him about it. I hope everything works out between you both. Sending big hugs.