[Shadix]

I honestly can't help but hate being around my younger brother. I am thinking part of it might be me being sensitive/insecure, but he has this habit of being so opinionated about everything in a way which I find to be offensive. And it's not about things that matter, like where there is actually a right and wrong, it's usually about things like shows, movies and video games. Normally when people express an opinion contrary to my own about these things, I am perfectly fine with it. But when he does it, he is basically implying that his opinion is fact, like it is not just his opinion, but that the show/movie/game he doesn't like is objectively bad. He sits there and explains in detail why it is as he says it is, and his explanations usually have negative connotations for the people who have the opposite opinion. For example, he bashes network television, claiming that the shows are not as good because the shows are made for a mainstream audience, and therefore aren't as "smart". Lately he has become obsessed with "feminist" issues, and his latest thing is that he will get hung up on sexist aspects of a show/movie/game and keep pointing these things out to argue that the show/movie/game is bad and, implicitly, that those who like it are wrong and should change their opinion.

Does anybody else find people like this intolerable? Or am I being overly sensitive?

[ChipperMonkey]

Ugh, those types of people ARE intolerable! I enjoy a discussion about differences of opinion, but that love stops when the other person pretty much says "I'm right, you are wrong, end of story!" I don't think you are being overly sensitive at all.

Can you ignore your brother? Spend less time with him? Do you think this is a phase or has this always been a thing of his?

[hvert]

Yes, it is extremely annoying when people do this. I try not to let it get to me - I know taste is subjective even if they don't.

[~Christina]

I have learned the best way to handle this kinda stuff is to simply ignore it.. Eventually he will become bored with not getting a "reaction" and maybe that is what in part he does it for ?

Yes its hard to just ignore things like this but if he's not up for calling a truce and being okay with your opinion being okay for you, than what other option do you have besides "ignore"

As Chippermonkey said .. Can you just spend less time around him? Spend more time with your friends?

I hope all this stops for you quickly.

[Shadix]

Thanks for the replies. He doesn't live with me, so we don't spend that much time together, but when I do spend time with him I feel uncomfortable talking about my likes or interests because of the possibility of him having a strong opinion contrary to mine. When I express a positive opinion about something that he doesn't like, he doesn't start an argument or insult me or anything like that, but he expresses his view which is usually condescending and offensive. For example, I say that a new game that is coming out looks cool, and he starts saying how he doesn't like the character designs they use and feels like those designs are made to appeal to the "typical gamer" demographic and then starts talking about the various reasons why he "can't stand" people of that demographic, among them being that he thinks they are mostly sexist males(based mainly on his interactions with a handful of these people on message boards). Despite the fact that he is into video games, he does not consider himself part of that "typical gamer" demographic based mainly on the fact that he isn't into the "mainstream" video games that they are into. Well, based on the types of games I am into, I am pretty certain I do fall into that demographic he speaking of, which is why I feel offended by his rhetoric. He has a similar category set up for people who like traditional role playing games, such as the Final Fantasy series, and he associates them with "typical anime fans", both groups which he has a negative outlook on. And despite knowing that I fall into these categories, he has often straight up started ripping on these demographics while talking to me. I try to avoid this situation because I don't know what to do when it happens. If I argue against him, I feel like I am getting defensive and this creates tension and awkwardness which I HATE, but if I don't, I feel like I am "surrendering" my own opinion and agreeing with him, which is basically abandoning my individuality. Also, he just has this way of making you feel like you are wrong. Like he picks out all the flaws in things and shines a spotlight on them, giving the impression that they really aren't that great. The reality is, people often times find a show/movie/game appealing despite it not being objectively "good" by the critics' standards. People have their own reasons for liking it and overlook the flaws. What my brother seems to do be attempting to do is tear down this "illusion" which is created by personal taste and essentially "ruin it" for the person. It is intentional to some extent, he has gloated before about how he "loves to hate things" and how he is very critical of everything. I just find it super annoying, I would prefer to just have whatever personal taste I have without having someone covertly trying to persuade me that I am wrong and should instead have the same opinion as them.

[Koko2]

I have an overbearing expert sibling like that, and one thing I can tell you is it doesn't change although the theme might change at some point in the future when the ego necessity arises. It's made me minimize my time spent in their presence to the extent possible. The twist for me is that they took my ideas and championed them as their own, so they do what your sib is doing but using my basic views against me like they're the better version of me. For example, if I showed any pride at caring for the environment, they'd join every environmental group, go on environmental missions, then educate me about how to care for the environment instead of polluting like a typical american. Good luck.

[angelene]

Oh, dear. People like this can be so hard to ignore but that is what you should try to do. Sounds like he's trying to get a rise out of you. He's aggressively passive-aggressively looking for an argument, does that make sense?

[Rose76]

I've got a brother very much along those lines. It's totally obnoxious, and he's unlikely to ever change. About all you can do is refrain from ever expressing your opinions about much to him. He sounds like my brother who is constantly scanning the conversation to find a segway towards him telling me that my thinking is all wrong. Eventually, I just gave up trying to have interesting exchanges with him. Whatever he said, I just kind of responded with something like, "Uh huh. Yeah I see what you mean." That got him bored and frustrated. It's like he only feels alive if he's ranting about something.

Just pity him. He's probably extremely insecure at some level. You are not surrendering anything, if you refrain from expressing your opinions to him. You don't have to justify your beliefs to him. He probably engages like this with everyone, and I'll bet he's very lonely. No doubt people find him obnoxious. It's sad really.

[llianee]

I HAVE THIS EXACT SAME ISSUE WITH MY BROTHER! Wow! Except for me it's about music and other things. Music is a big one tho. For example he is way too logical about EVERYTHING. Like instead of liking songs based on the meaning of the lyrics or the sound of the song and vocals he judges it based on the variety of instruments used and the range of notes. If something is too repetitive for him or uses "not real instruments" like EDM or dubstep then he bashes it and makes anyone who likes that type of music and makes them seem like a brain dead idiot. The types of music HE likes is heavy metal, classical, jazz, mariachi music, country, and 70s and 80s pop. "Mainstream music" is too repetitive for him. One time he even stormed off into his room and slammed the door simply because Katy perry's "Firework" was playing as background music for a slide show. So strange I know. I remember being a typical little girl and liking Hannah Montana when I was younger. My mom helped me pick out some songs to put onto my very first iPod shuffle. And I remember my brother walked into the room and said something like, "Why are you helping her listen to that garbage repetitive music?" And I remember how hurt I felt. Of course, now I no longer like Hannah Montana because I grew up but as a kid those words really hurt. He made me really uninterested in music because I had so many bad associations with him and music. But when I was a teenager I was finally starting to discover what kind of music I liked. But I couldn't listen to any of those songs because my whole family had a shared itunes account so anything I downloaded would sync onto everyone's devices. I also remember my brother always telling me how it's pathetic that I didn't listen to music and I didn't have any songs I liked. But I DID have songs I liked. I DID like music. But I was too afraid to say anything about it. This even carried on to my personal life outside of family. My friends would ask me what types of music I listened to and I would even tell them that I don't really listen to music in fear that my brother would somehow find out.

Another example is MAKEUP. I remember being a young girl and thinking makeup was really cool and interesting and I always wanted to try it. My mom never wore it so I had really no exposure to it in real life. Eventually around middle school or high school I started experimenting slightly with makeup and while most people look back on their first makeup days and cringe, I actually don't cringe because I actuslly didn't do a bad job. Weird huh. But I remember my brother would always talk about how women who wear too much makeup look so much better and prettier without makeup. But the thing is he doesn't understand how makeup works. When I started with makeup I just slightly filled my brows because they were sparse and I used a little mascara and concealer. It was really natural looking and my brother never even noticed. He doesn't understand that makeup doesn't always have to be full on eyeliner and eyeshadow. It can look natural too which was and still is my go to style. I was so afraid he would notice my makeup so I always tried covering my face and not looking directly at him whenever I was wearing makeup, but I soon realized how nonobservant he was since he never really noticed. The only time he noticed was when we got professional headshots for senior pictures. SENIOR PICTURES. it took him about 5 years. With the high quality of the portrait, he was like "is she wearing MAKEUP?!?!?!" As if it was some revolutionary thing that totally changed me. Ugh. I really really hate him.

Literally any opinion he has he makes it seem so important and like he is correct. Even if I agree with what he is saying it just irritates me to hear him speak. He always sounds super ranty and angry and condescending.