[xRavenx]

Help! Need advice.

My friend and I typically talk on a weekly basis, sometimes multiple times per week, or we'll go maybe about 2 weeks of not being in contact when we are especially busy. If one of us reaches out in between by text or something, we'll get back to each other at least in the next day or two, even if it's just by text until we have time to talk. We both work and are understanding of each other's schedules, but we do talk a lot.

The last time we talked (at all) is when we went out to eat, and that was on Sept 18. I did not hear from her for 3 weeks, so I reached out with a quick text checking in with her to say hi. I called her a few days later, but nothing. I figured she was busy, but it didn't seem like her at all. There were a couple of other unsuccessful attempts. My last attempt was just a text two days ago Oct 14, and I said that I hope she's okay, that I don't want to bother her or keep calling, and that she can tell me if she is just needs space during this time. I asked if there is anything wrong and that I'd just like to hear from her (even if it's a text, just to hear from her).

I am not a clingy person. It's just that I trust my intuition when something is wrong, and this is unlike my friend. I do know that she is especially sensitive during this time, very stressed about different things, coping with being separated from her husband, who was verbally and physically abusive in the past. It has been ongoing though, and their relationship has been okay since being separated and co-parenting.

I also know that she had to call a hotline, where she had some suicidal thoughts only a week before we saw each other. She has a young daughter though, and she said that keeps her motivated and brings happiness. However, she has been coping with these issues for a while, and it's not part of her patterns to have zero contact for a month, even if someone reaches out.

I don't know what to think. The only other way of contacting her besides her cell is a P.O. Box address, that I hope she still has. Or, I can look up her workplace (if I can find it) and call asking for her, but that's a last resort.
My theories: A) She lost her phone contacts B) Some kind of emergency happened, God forbid, being in the hospital C) There's a misunderstanding between us, or something was taken out of context?? This would be unlikely, but like I said, she is in a vulnerable spot. She does have a personality where she reads into things a little too much. I'm in the dark though.

What should I do??? While reading this, what do you think would be more likely to happen? I know that nobody has answers, but I really need input. I want my friend back.

[TishaBuv]

Is she on facebook? You could see if there’s been any activity on her social media. Do you have any mutual friends? You could call them and ask if they’ve heard from her?

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

Is she on facebook? You could see if there’s been any activity on her social media. Do you have any mutual friends? You could call them and ask if they’ve heard from her?

The bad part is that we don't share mutual friends. I met her at an old job that I had 5 years ago. She does not work there. I do not have a facebook. I can't find hers, if she does still have an active one. I just sent her a card and put it in the mail and hope it gets to her, since it is a P.O. Box. She lives about an hour and a half away. I lost her physical address, after some texts got deleted when I had to reprogram my phone last year.

Maybe I should just wait it out another week to see if she responds to the card I am sending? Since I don't have a facebook, if she lost my phone number, there is a chance of her having difficulties getting in touch with me.....but most phones back up contacts automatically through the Cloud, even if someone loses their phone, right? Or I wonder if something malicious happened between her husband, who she is separated, where maybe he took away her phone? It's a stretch, but just thinking.

Another thing: When I call her, her phone doesn't go straight to voicemail. It rings like normal and goes to voicemail, so does that mean nothing should be that wrong with her phone? Is there any theory I should almost rule out, like the likelihood of her being in the hospital?

[TishaBuv]

I’d call at her job and tell them you are her friend, and just want to check on her, as you think there might be something wrong with her phone. You can say, “I don’t even need to speak to her, just want to know if she’s there or been there lately”

you have every reason to be concerned. Can you call her family? The hospital? And, yes even her workplace.

[Koolz09]

I am thinking would be a good idea if you contact others that know her or see her often to see what is happening to her

[xRavenx]

It's so crazy that we actually don't share mutual friends. Before my phone lost some information when it had to be programmed, I had her dad's number, although we never met....but no more. She did have a cousin send me a baby shower invitation awhile ago, but ill have to search high and low to see if it's around. I highly doubt it.
If she's in a hospital and her phone rings like normal, wouldn't the phone be dead by now if something happened? I hope she didn't ghost me.

[TishaBuv]

If you are close with her, and you can’t imagine what you might have done to make her mad, then I wouldn’t think she would just blow you off.

I would be very casual about checking on her, especially with her boss. Hopefully, she’s fine. But do call. If something did happen, you’ll never know unless you call.

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by TishaBuv

If you are close with her, and you can’t imagine what you might have done to make her mad, then I wouldn’t think she would just blow you off.

I would be very casual about checking on her, especially with her boss. Hopefully, she’s fine. But do call. If something did happen, you’ll never know unless you call.

Yes, I am going to see if she responds to the note that I just sent out to her in the mail. If I don't get a response from her, I will look up where she works and try that.