 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Oct 16, 2017, 09:56 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I'm almost 50, my boyfriend same age. I have no issues that he has pictures of past loves,, I have no issue if he finds a woman attractive. However, while we have been dating I noticed he had downloaded & saved pictures for several months of a 25 year old "friend" a woman he had a fling with, ex girlfriend S and woman that are his Facebook friends I don't know.
Some pictures he saved were several years old so he had to spend a lot of time searching. He said its no big deal, I'm immature and he cant recall why he did it |
 MickeyCheeky
|
|
#2
Oct 16, 2017, 01:36 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
It bothers me that he attacks you instead of addressing the issue you raise.
|
|
#3
Oct 16, 2017, 03:08 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I agree with Bill. He's lying to you and is defensive so he attacked/criticized you instead. That is not nice behavior or treatment. You deserve better. I would drop this boyfriend. He's hung up on other women.
|
 Bill3
|
|
#4
Oct 16, 2017, 05:22 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Welcome to psych central. Turning on you and acting like you are the one with the problem is called gaslighting.
__________________
 Eat a live frog for breakfast every morning and nothing worse can happen to you that day! "Ask yourself whether the dream of heaven and greatness should be left waiting for us in our graves - or whether it should be ours here and now and on this earth.” Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged Bipolar type 2 rapid cycling DX 2013 - Seroquel 100 Celexa 20 mg Xanax .5 mg prn Modafanil 100 mg 
|
|
#5
Oct 16, 2017, 08:03 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
You said the pictures were several yrs old. Were they saved from FB? Are they saved somewhere special? Like on a drive? Do you know all his FB friends? I only ask bec I don't do FB & I figure people use it differently.
__________________
"Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
|
#6
Oct 16, 2017, 08:50 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I would have a problem if my partner did something like this.
His comment about being immature? Total ******** ! Gaslighting at its finest
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
|
#7
Oct 17, 2017, 07:33 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Turning things around to accuse you of being the guilty one is mental abuse. Besides, for me this would definitely be a deal breaker.
|
|
#8
Oct 17, 2017, 11:14 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
having pictures of friends or even old flames would only in rare cases be ok if they were related to some important event or group shots. No fooling anyone here, there is absolutely no reason for a guy or gal to save pics of someone of the sex they are attracted to other than for ogling... let alone saving multiple pictures of someone just amplifies that. Heck I don't even save pics of celebrities unless I happen to find them attractive. Pictures do one thing, give us something pleasurable to look at. There are really no two ways about it.
Saying something about it was a good thing, and it shined a light on a problem, which is clearly made apparent by his retaliatory remarks and as someone else said "gaslighting". |
|
#9
Oct 17, 2017, 06:26 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
So nobody keeps old pics? Wow I must be very new age.
__________________
"Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
| Sentimental_Blue
|
|
#10
Oct 18, 2017, 11:38 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
|
#11
Oct 18, 2017, 12:07 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
You should try to bring up this issue with him again.. and see if he keeps reacting that way.
|
|
#12
Oct 18, 2017, 12:27 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
How many are in a cache? My original questions were not answered so I'm still not sure that the issue is here. Was he hiding them or using them for a sexual purpose? I don't wanto jump to conclusions without more information & I see that might be happening. I have pics of old flames, many in fact. It's a marker in my life. My SO also has pics of his old flames. Some were beautiful women.
__________________
"Doubt is like dye. Once it spreads into the fabric of excuses you've woven, you'll never get rid of the stain." Jodi Picoult |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
