[mymask]

I find I avoid sick people and dying people, including close family members and I feel very guilty about it. I never used to call or visit them in hospital. But since I am now in my 50s, I have forced myself to call or visit, but it makes me very nervous and frequently put it off or just don't do it. As I get older it is going to get worse, as more of my family/friends will get sick and die. It is maybe a phobia, not sure what to do or do nothing other than force myself to do it. I am also not very communicative to extended family other than mother and father who are both old and sickly now, I do talk to them, but i still feel guilt about not trying to spend more time with them. Forget aunts/uncles/cousins I pretty much never tried but again with facebook I have tried more recently. I find I don't want to get close to people maybe afraid of losing them, but really I don't feel I have it in me to be a good friend or family member, writing this is making me cry so it is triggering something just not sure what. I just feel tons of guilt and fear as the main feeling. Is this common, does it represent a specific problem??

[Sunflower123]

It represents something for you if you feel guilt and fear and are crying. I just don’t know what that is. Hopefully others will. Have you considered talking to a therapist about this? ((((Hugs)))).