[gloria]

I have a new theory in regards to why, perhaps I am not in an abusive relationship.
If I answered back to my husband when he gets an attitude (like my sister does with her husband) perhaps, he would learn I am fisty if I need to and he would quit.
I am afraid of answering back most of the time, because of how he reacts but he knows that too, and uses it to his advantage. Also, I think I don't do it because I am an expert at "conflict avoiding" so, maybe it is my attitude what has caused me to be where I am.
I have therapy today, I can't wait to tell my T what I think.

gab

My dad was a bully. He definately used the fact that no one would talk back to his advantage too. I read a book called Boundaries by Townsand and McCloud. I HIGHLY HIGHLY suggest it for understanding how to deal with people who take advantage of others. The message of the book is that you teach people how to treat you. When we don't tell people when they exceed our boundaries or when we do not make up our own boundaries, then we teach them that they can treat us this way. It has allot of really good books on marraiges. MY mom swears by this book. Hope it helps. You can get it on amazon, any bookstore, or they even had several copies at my local library.

[gloria]

Thanks, I'll look for it, specially because I just came back from Therapy and my t threw my theory out the window

gab

Well.. do some investigating on your own. I guess the goal in general is to find healthier relationships with those around us. If that theory helps..then you win