[Keeping it together]

I've been in a relationship for the last 6 months with the man I believe is the one.
I was in a relationship prior to this for a year and a half and we were intimate.
I never lost my virginity to him but I was sexually active.
Things didn't however work out and I moved on.
I meet my current boyfriend and it's beautiful.
He's always insisted on keeping things open.
And I agree.
It's best to keep things open.
I therefore told him about the past.
But he comes to know later that I've spent nights at my then boyfriend's place.
He tells me that he would be okay with me having lost my virginity but this kind of intimacy is too much for him to accept.
He says he'll never be able to accept my past.
And that we'll never have any physical intimacy ever.
He'll never be able to have sex with me without thinking about my past.
We love each other.
And I'm going crazy.
Help

[Molinit]

He couldn't possibly be clearer that he is not "the one" so you need to cut your losses and move on.

Hoping he'll change his mind is useless.

Wait.......I don´t get it. You didn´t even lose your virginity to the other guy, what on earth is your current boyfriend upset about? That you´ve had sex, kissed someone in your life?

[Orvel]

I can see that you are Indian... which helps me understand your problem. By western standards, your past is not a big deal. But in his mind (and in your culture maybe? idk), it is not.

The solution is simple. Tell him that he can accept it, or you break up with him.

Sorry, but that's how it is.

[graystreet]

I'm about 98% sure I understand (the cultural aspect). However, I agree with others, here. If he is the one, he accepts all of you, and that includes your sexual past. I feel like even if you convince him to accept things, he may resent you for pushing him to accept what he was not comfortable with. My western cultural sensibility believes in equality of the sexes and sexual liberation, but he has a prerogative to not be as accepting as you want him to be. I'm sorry.

[all74]

I know there may be some cultural pieces that I'm not aware of but as a man this screams of him having control issues. I would be very hesitant to move forward with him.

[Erebos]

This is just bizarre.
Even if you had been intimate with your previous partner this would be bizarre.
This is like a weird way of punishing you for doing something perfectly legitimate and w within the realms of any normal relationship.

Things like this is why I don't believe full disclosure is necessary or even healthy in a relationship.

What does he mean that he would be ok if you had lost your virginity, but 'this ' kind of intimacy is too much?
What is 'this'
What is more intimate than having sexual intercourse?

Not that it matters. You were in a relationship with the guy.

Not sure how old you are, but unless your in your first relationship chances are you'll have some history.

If I was in your shoes I would resent being made to feel guilty for doing nothing.

I don't buy the cultural differences, he already stated it wouldn't be an issue if she had lost her virginity but is not ok with her staying the night.

This is semantics, He doesn't like that she dated before.
She is still a virgin so he can't pick on that so he vents his jealousy on the next best thing. She stayed overnight.

If he can't let this go the relationship is an exercise in futility and heart ache.

OP you can't undo what has been done, so it's down to him to let it go.
If he can't then it's up to you if you spend the foreseeable future feeling guilty for nothing.
All the best.

[divine1966]

He clearly isn’t “the one”. He has no issues whth sex but has issue with sleepovers? Gee, I’d not bother with him. Who Knows what else he has issues with is.

[Lolina]

Did you tell him that you were sexually active with your ex and go into details. I don't think he is the one as he cannot accept you as you are. Men don't like thinking their girlfriend being intimate with other guys maybe next time it would be better to skip this part. You can even say you don't want to speak about it. It's your right.

[s4ndm4n2006]

One of the most foundational things in a relationship would be acceptance of the other person as they are, today, now... not what they've done, where they've been or anything else that no longer matters. There is nothing more obvious about this guy that should tell you that he is NOT the one at all, and in fact if he persists in his thinking is the one you should MOVE ON from. Find someone that will accept that you, along with the majority of other people in the world today are people with active sexual past lives.