Feeling Alone

I would like to say in advance that I apologize for making this a sad thread. My intention is not for people to pity for me, but to explain how I feel and vent to people I don't know because...well, I don't have anyone to vent to or talk to help me feel better. If you decide to stay, thank you so much. It truly means a lot.

I'm currently 20, and I have what you describe by many as having 'no life'. I don't have any friends. I don't do anything outside my home. I'm often rejected by people. It's difficult for me to make friends, they only see me as an acquaintance and nothing more. I try hard but no one seems interested. I have never had a girlfriend (I'm not so attractive, but I've come to learn facts don't care about your feelings).

To put it blunt, I'm a nerd. I love school. I love learning about Biology and Chemistry and in some ways I feel guilty for it. People always have a reason to shove their thoughts about my life. They love to tell me how meaningless my life is because I study a lot and love doing it and I should 'go out' more and be like rest of our youth. I have a 4.0 University cumulative GPA. Well, I've tried making friends and it never works out. People (for some reason) never really care about having a friendship with me. Only need me to help do their homework or something else to help them then they are off.

My mom is stunningly attractive. Everyone in public looks at her like she's a goddess. She can make friends easily and in public everyone loves to talk to her. Meanwhile, compare her to me it's a totally different story. No one likes me. I'm in some ways ashamed to be her son. I'm a freaking nerd while she was your popular girl in High School. I get embarrassed telling people I'm her son because I look like a total goofball while everyone is expecting some type of George Clooney. My brother and his damn friends always make fun of me for being alone, and my parents always comment on me how I have nobody. My mom even today said I have nobody. My dad also tells me how nerdy I am and it does hurt. It makes me feel inferior. I'm just being myself. My dad always tells me how at my age he had a six pack, etc. and was out at nightclubs partying at my age.

I'm tired of it. I'm not suicidal, but I am sad. I don't even know what to do with my time besides reading science books or staring at a computer screen. I have no friends. No one to vent to so I only have PsychCentral to help me out. Whenever I start opening a science textbook (sometimes) I feel like I should put it down and be like everyone else but I don't want to. I love this stuff.

Any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated. People even at University always love to say I have no life. I'm tired of people judging me.

Don’t be sad or do not let ANYONE make you feel like you are in the wrong path or the voyage of a loner creep, etc. Just because you are not living like a photocopy machine and repeating the acts of the other sheep, it doesn’t mean that your life deserves negative criticism.
I am forty years old, single by choice, and i have always loved school, reading, academy and philosophy. I consider myself lucky because I choose to spend my weekends with my books and solitude and also I chose to spend few years in my 30s focusing on my master’s degree, while my “friends” were wasting money on debauchery.
I read your entire thread and you arent doing anything wrong.
One day, you will find a wonderful and a cute girlfriend who will be as nerdy as you are.
Honestly, having deep friendships is not easy. It is nothing personal. It is all about what is convenient for people. For instance, most of my friends are married and those who aren’t married want to spend their time going to a spa, then wine tasting and an expensive dinner. I, on the other hand, would like to have a small, intimate dinner at home and discuss philosophy or politics. Or spend my weekend camping and hiking, while enjoying the evenings with some heart opening conversations, poetry reading, etc., by the camp fire.
Therefore, I dont have many friends.

Thank you very much!

I would like to share a personal experience.
Few years ago, while doing volunteer work in Cuba, I met a guy in his late 20s who spent the entire night (sunset until 05:00) watching a hole in a tree so that he could take a picture of this very rare insect (which was living in that hole) that is only found in Cuba. He was from Iceland on a research trip. While he was spending the evening focused on an insect inside the hole of a tree and discussing anthropology and history with me, everyone else was getting drunk on rum and dancing. There is nothing wrong with either choice.

Thanks that helps a lot!!

You're 20.. you have like, so many years to get a girlfriend, yeah being lonely sucks but if you're a genius at school/uni keep at it because when you have the dollars rolling in doing a job that took brains, girls are gonna see you in a different light anyway.. you just need to have a bit of patience

I have some therapy-like threads in the depression forum and even the game forum. Check them out, look around. There are things that might make you feel better

I moved to another city. And I'm very lonely. But in this new city I have work, study, but no friends. I miss people in my life.

Hey there, I don’t think I’m qualified to give advice given I’m 33 and feel pretty alone these days also... but if I was you I’d really try to join clubs or activities that you’re passionate about. They have engineering clubs that might be great.

Also, don’t worry about how your mom is and what you should be. I was considered very attractive (at least face n height wise - asked to model by agencies) in my 20s and looks shouldn’t be the only thing you value. You need to find something you love about yourself...true confidence is all you need. But yeah you will have to work a bit harder in engaging people than your mom. Just remember she s had a lot more time to build her emotional and social intelligence.