Home Menu

Menu


Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old Nov 26, 2017, 12:00 PM
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,579
I have someone in my life that has an anger management problem. They can be and frequently are vicious, hostile and aggressive. They do usually refrain from throwing things but they have been known to follow people home who cut them off in traffic and harass them. Lots of yelling with this person.

Everyone else takes it in stride. Now I’m no shrinking violet. I can shut people down with the best of them and I’m fairly good at hand to hand combat (thank you taekwondo). There is no danger to me other then the fact that I am sensitive and peaceful and find it beyond acceptable or pleasant. I also don’t want my child around it.

I could not go to Thanksgiving with my family...I just couldn’t be around this person. I will be expected to be there Christmas as well.

I wanted to see if anyone had any advice or insight on how I can chill. I seem to be the only one who sees this as a problem.

Thanks much for any input.
Hugs from:
Anonymous40643, Anonymous50010, Anonymous50013, Anonymous50909, Anonymous57777, Bill3, Fuzzybear, littleowl2006, Purple,Violet,Blue, sky457, ~Christina

advertisement
  #2  
Old Nov 26, 2017, 12:13 PM
Anonymous40643
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Hey Jennifer. I am a peace loving person myself, so I totally get where you're coming. Anger is so disturbing to me and my sense of peace.

Is this a relative of yours?

Most people cannot deal with anger issues... maybe no one says anything, but I am betting you're not the only one uncomfortable.

I guess my only advice is to work on remaining calm and peaceful inside while you are dealing with this person. Avoid them as much as possible, but then if necessary to interact and/or see this person, perhaps walk away from the situation entirely when they get like that, walk out of the room, or distract yourself with someone or something else.... and perhaps practice a mindfulness meditation in your own head to try & remain calm inside. Like peace come to me now..... and stay mindful of your breathing... take lots of deep breaths.

We cannot control other people, but we CAN control our own reactions to them. My tendency would be to avoid them at all costs and to protect my child from it.

((((((Hugs))))))))
Hugs from:
Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
  #3  
Old Nov 26, 2017, 12:17 PM
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,579
Excellent advice!!! Mindfulness meditation is a great idea.

Yes, it is my sister. We’re like night and day.

Thank you for responding. I appreciate you. ((((( Hugs )))))
Hugs from:
Anonymous40643, Purple,Violet,Blue
  #4  
Old Nov 26, 2017, 12:21 PM
Anonymous40643
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967 View Post
Excellent advice!!! Mindfulness meditation is a great idea.

Yes, it is my sister. We’re like night and day.

Thank you for responding. I appreciate you. ((((( Hugs )))))
Aw, thanks, Jennifer, I appreciate you too!

I am sorry you have to deal with a sibling who is like this. Yes, mindfulness meditation is very helpful!!!
Hugs from:
Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
  #5  
Old Nov 26, 2017, 12:52 PM
Anonymous57777
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Take your daughter on long walks and frequent shopping trips? If you travel to a big city, take some yoga classes with your daughter everyday? If your extended family is big enough, ask someone who drives to restaurants, etc.
and will not be in the same car as your sister if you can go with them. If you typically drive, fill your car up with other relatives?
Hugs from:
Anonymous40643, Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
  #6  
Old Nov 26, 2017, 01:12 PM
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,579
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hopingtrying View Post
Take your daughter on long walks and frequent shopping trips? If you travel to a big city, take some yoga classes with your daughter everyday? If your extended family is big enough, ask someone who drives to restaurants, etc.
and will not be in the same car as your sister if you can go with them. If you typically drive, fill your car up with other relatives?
Excellent advice!! I’m starting to see here that I’m not without practical solutions. Thank you.
Hugs from:
Anonymous40643, Anonymous57777, Purple,Violet,Blue
  #7  
Old Nov 26, 2017, 02:29 PM
~Christina's Avatar
~Christina ~Christina is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
Community Liaison
 
Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
Im sorry your going through this.

Its often family that causes more distress and anger than some stranger you have a angry interaction with.

Since your kinda stuck at some point seeing her I agree with the above advice.
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
Hugs from:
Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
  #8  
Old Nov 27, 2017, 12:23 PM
Fuzzybear's Avatar
Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
Wisest Elder Ever
 
Member Since: Nov 2002
Location: Cave.
Posts: 96,639
I’m not always good at “dealing” with Angry People especially those who repeatedly refuse to “own their stuff”

Anger is a “normal” emotion, but acting out projection and hate is not “normal”

I’m sorry this is maybe off topic, my mean inner critic is having “fun” today

(Attacking me with words mean people used)



Love you my friend
__________________
Hugs from:
Purple,Violet,Blue, Sunflower123
Thanks for this!
Sunflower123
  #9  
Old Nov 28, 2017, 10:08 PM
Sunflower123's Avatar
Sunflower123 Sunflower123 is offline
Legendary Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 26,579
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post
I’m not always good at “dealing” with Angry People especially those who repeatedly refuse to “own their stuff”

Anger is a “normal” emotion, but acting out projection and hate is not “normal”

I’m sorry this is maybe off topic, my mean inner critic is having “fun” today

(Attacking me with words mean people used)



Love you my friend
Thank you Fuzzy. Love you to my dear friend.
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear
Thanks for this!
Fuzzybear
Reply
Views: 421

attentionThis is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.




All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:45 AM.
Powered by vBulletin® — Copyright © 2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.




 

My Support Forums

My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.

 

Helplines and Lifelines

The material on this site is for informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis or treatment provided by a qualified health care provider.

Always consult your doctor or mental health professional before trying anything you read here.