How do you deal with being truly alone?

I have no family, friends, community, or workplace. I am truly alone and it seems like society doesn’t want me around either. Everywhere I go I deal with serious bias.

I'm sorry that you've dealt with people being biased against you. I've dealt with biased people, too, so I understand how painful it is. However, not everyone in society is biased. There are people out there who value diversity.

Can you go to group therapy/a support group? Are there any groups on the Meetup website near you?

I am not truly alone but mostly alone and I get a lot of bias too. I generally just rant about it. I wish being alone wasn't so despised by society. We are the last that it is ok to discriminate against.

The last time I felt really alone things did not go well for me. I didn't cope well. Right now I enjoy making online friends as much as real life friends. If you want someone to talk to feel free to message me.

I haven’t any good meet ups near me but will have to look for support group.

Hello There!
I'm in the same place.
Hmm.
Well I have some suggestions to help get you through
I hope it helps.

1.) Keep yourself busy
2.) Go back to school to advance yourself
3.) Volunteer
4.) While at your home watch your favorite movies
5.) Listen to the radio or CD's
6.) Get a 2nd job perhaps a part time one on your days off
7.) Remember #3 well you might want to consider volunteering at a senior center or Senior Home. Some of these people may not have anyone who visits them.
8.) Do you live in a home that allows pets? If so, I encourage you to save up what money you can for that deposit if you live in an apartment that accepts pets.
9.) If your atheletic join a team, you can check out your local parks & recreation by Googling it.

The key is keep busy with something. Now the holidays are coming up. Don't let that depress you. Get a tree decorate it, then wrap up some empty boxes for added effect. If possible go down to the local soup kitchen to volunteer.
You'll be okay. You can drop me a line if you want. Keep your head up.

Why do you believe that society doesn't want you?

Sorry you feel this lonely We're willing to listen, if that can help..

My dog (s) have been my constant compsnions. I moved 2100 miles away from where I lived all my life to a place where I knew no one. It it hadnt been for the my heart connected dog, it would have been tough as I also bought a farm in the country. That heart connect with my dog was what also showed me what connection feels like at 54 years old, I came hete a mess.

Though getting out & volunteering was the first thing I did so I started meeting other horse people (people interested in horses). Then through that, got involved in community activities & met amazingly wonderful people. Many people who have moved here from outside this small town say the same as me.....this town has the friendliest people. I even got a compliment the other day. One lady I am volunteering with thought I had lived here all my life (without the Ky accent) but was amazed at where I had come from & what my life was before closing that book of my life & opening this one.

I honestly think that the community we land is has so much to do with how we are treated. I dont know snyone who hasnt been accepted here.

Know its not that easy to move & its a crap shoot as to what one is moving to. I think I was just blessed to land here because I was one pretty messed up & angry person after 33 years in a bad marriage that left me feelung nothing but anger to the point of seeing red. The people here showed me that not all people are like what I was around & it has been a wonderful healing process. One never knows what the future holds. I was ready to end my life more times than I can count. If I hadnt had a new born foal from my mare before I left. She gave me the reason to live. Now I just am loving life & the people in my life.....though I do LOVE living alone. I have rnough social contact & an amazing support system in my life now. Something everykne talked about but no way to make it happen in some environments.

There is no magic formula. Just started off gettibg involved in things that interested me which put me woth others who had the same interests to connect to. Ballroom dancing, church, Bible studies, art, music, HORSES.....all have come together to provide me with meeting awesome people not just in town but throughout the area & those connections just keep growing.

I honestly never imagined I would ever be where I am today. Its like this other person was trapped inside wanting out so bad but no environment would allow it to happen. Then having been around people who didnt know how to connect all my life, that was a learning experience also which came from slowly observing & trying to sense the feelings which finally came together. Two years of intense DBT therapy helped also with a wonderful psycholigist. I have grown more between the age of 54-64 than all my previous life. An amazing experience. If I can....others can too.

Hobbies.

- I go to the gym 5 times a week.
- I watch my favorite shows.
- I listen to music.
- I take walks.
- I go to the mall and browse.
- I play online games.
- I read my favorite magazines.
- I go to bars and listen to live bands. I even dance alone.
- I spent time thinking about my next creative project.

I have a couple of family members near me. I moved so I have no friends. I have come to terms with being alone. It took me a long time to get there. I just accept myself now.

You are an inspiration to us all ,eskie. Environment plays a big part in all our lives and in society nowadays community has all but disappeared. For single people, older people without family it can be very hard.

I don't know it's a few reasons. I think some of it is that I'm a minority but there are so many reasons. I think a lot of it is just me. I haven't been good at talking to people and building relationships so I feel out of place most places. I do think folks can sense I'm in a bad place and it's a huge turnoff so they don't want to engage with me.

My mindset in general is very bad and my confidence is very low which is not a good vibe. One thing that has impacted me on that, and this gonna sound weird and childish, is that my package looks unusually small (I'm a serious grower and above avg but my balls are small on my frame). Guys especially get very uncomfortable around me for that reason. Doesn't help that I'm 6'2''- 6'3'' and built like a linebacker so the contrast is crazy. Like I'll be walking in a mall and people will just stare or guys will laugh. I do think some of this is just to make themselves feel better but it's draining.

Thank you for sharing this, it means a great deal to hear a success story like that and it gives me hope. Volunteering sounds like an amazing thing. I need to get on that. My area unfortunately is pretty toxic. It's by nyc and people in general aren't nice unless you have something they want. I'm looking to move as I've definitely noticed people are much nicer in other parts of the country but I have limited funds.

I'm sorry you feel so alone. I know that feeling all too well. I used to feel it constantly. I won't bore you with my life's story, but I did get some relief from going to forums and dating sites. A dating site helped me get my first real relationship, which I screwed up (but again, that's another story I won't bore you with).

I'm now on my 4th relationship thanks to these two places online. I hope they can work for you too!

My mother was self-conscious about her eyes (underdeveloped at birth) & needed thick glasses. That self consciousness never left her but it helped me to develope more confidence & not care about what people thought. Most of the time my mom was actually imagining that others wete looking & commenting because when I was with her I never saw the reactions she thought she saw. People are actually so wrapped up in their own lives, looking at details of other people is usually the last yhing on their mind even in a gym dressing room.

Just a thought....our own self-consciousness can play tricks on us

Unless your genitals are out for everyone to see at the mall, I don't see how people would notice or care about their size/shape in comparison to the rest of you. I know saying this isn't exactly going to change how you feel regarding your self consciousness though. I understand the feeling of being in public, like at the mall, and people just laughing and laughing around you, feeling like whatever is amusing them must be related to you somehow. It took me a long time to get over that. It stemmed from a very traumatic incident that happened to me in Middle School, which left classmates snickering about me as I walked by for at least a week.

Anyways, I told a therapist about this problem, and she gave me some sage bit of advice. She told me that whatever another person thinks is none of my business and none of my concern so long as I know in my head and heart that I've done nothing against my morals, character, or the like. She told me to repeat this advice over and over again to myself whenever I felt like anyone was laughing at me behind my back. A sort of mantra, so to speak. It's helped me tremendously.

Maybe you can give it a try. I know it's super hard, but the reward of getting over this issue of self-worthlessness is so worth the effort involved and you'll feel a whole lot better. I promise.

Honestly i dont quite know how i deal with it yet, right now i would have to say not very well. But i am learning by reading your comments and trying the different suggestions here and learning how to occupy myself through the lonliness.

I am sorry you feel insecure about your body. I don't think this is something that most people would think about. I think maybe it is a male insecurity?

It is hard to be alone. There are so many things to do in New York. What are your interests?
Being in a big city, there are a lot of people who are doing their own thing. Is there anything that you have wanted to try? Any volunteering? An animal shelter or a museum are things that would get you out and meeting people.

Well its hell!
I don't have any real family except my mentally ill distant Mother who lives across town with her bong smoking mentally ill Husband who served in Vietnam.
Tonight I'm not faring so well.
I can't wait for morning to come because It's the night time were I have the most difficult time.
It's really hard. I'm tired of spending time on the laptop, reading books, watching DVDs.
It's hard. I don't even have the holidays to look forward to.
Nothing really gets me through when I'm like this I just have to ride it out until I'm calm. And it isn't easy at all.
I'm drinking tea.
Sorry I wasn't much help.
I take med's but they only do so much.
Keep your head up.