[lostinworld]

I met this guy during summer, we worked together for a month. He was really persuasive while he was seducing me. At first I was not interested because I had this feeling that he was not a man he claimed to be, charming and caring. Especially because lots of women there told me that he is making moves on them too. But I gave in eventually because I was alone a long time and I wanted to have some good time in life. At first everything was great, first few days.

Possible trigger:

But when we had sex he insisted and pushed me in some form of bdsm. He was not violent directly more like he talk to me, told me that I will like it and other stuff so I give up and did what he wanted. He was cold during sex and mechanical (I don't know how else to explain) but he was super gently after sex.

Then he started to insult me and undermine mine opinion in front of others. All this time he was telling me in private that he loves me and that I'm pretty and strong women and lots of other compliments. After our work ended there we had plan to get together in this city that's closest to both of us. That was his idea. But when I came there he told me I should told him earlier and he won't make it. After that he apologized but then I started to back up because I started to feeling that he is playing some game. We stayed in contact tho. Now I feel trapped. I love him and hate him. He did me so wrong but in some other way he was most
gentile man I met. Sometimes I even think that I exaggerate his flaws, or that bad stuff he was doing to me was only imagined by me. At some other time I feel like he's closely watching my every step on social media. I know that I probably need to remove him from my life completely but for some reason I can't and I don't know what to do, or what is wrong with him or me. I feel emotionally crushed and drained. I feel so stupid and ashamed so I can't tell any of this stuff to my friends. We are highly educated crew and I feel that they are gonna laugh at me. I don't even know why I think so much about him. So I'm writing this here hoping that someone was in similar situations and can help me.

End it. You have a choice and can walk away, but you need to be strong and decisive. This man is abusive. Anyone who insults you and demeans you is abusive. You are not imagining things, so please don't question yourself. Forcing you into the sexual stuff without asking and talking about it first is not OK. It's early on still, you're not that involved or for not that long, so the pain of it ending should not be long either. You can do far better if you are lonely. Many of us have found ourselves in a dysfunctional situation with a man, so please don't feel bad. (((Hugs)))

Originally Posted by golden_eve

End it. You have a choice and can walk away, but you need to be strong and decisive. This man is abusive. Anyone who insults you and demeans you is abusive. You are not imagining things, so please don't question yourself. Forcing you into the sexual stuff without asking and talking about it first is not OK. It's early on still, you're not that involved or for not that long, so the pain of it ending should not be long either. You can do far better if you are lonely. Many of us have found ourselves in a dysfunctional situation with a man, so please don't feel bad. (((Hugs)))

Completely agree!

Originally Posted by golden_eve

End it. You have a choice and can walk away, but you need to be strong and decisive. This man is abusive. Anyone who insults you and demeans you is abusive. You are not imagining things, so please don't question yourself. Forcing you into the sexual stuff without asking and talking about it first is not OK. It's early on still, you're not that involved or for not that long, so the pain of it ending should not be long either. You can do far better if you are lonely. Many of us have found ourselves in a dysfunctional situation with a man, so please don't feel bad. (((Hugs)))

Bang on. I agree as well.

[Bill3]

End it and go no contact, block him, on all media.

[lostinworld]

Thank you guys, I guess it become obvious even to me when I read what I wrote that I need to cut him lose. It's just so hard to understand that some people are not worth fighting for. But I'll try.