[Wish_I_Was_Normal]

I don't want to go too much into detail...but it's been brought to my attention that my parents are verbally abusive. They pin my siblings against me and encourage them to insult me and talk down on me, they yell often, blame all of their problems and fights on me, often yell, scream, and swear at me, compare me to my "more successful" younger sister, throw things at me, call me names, etc. They've been more recently pushing me to the point of a full on mental breakdown/anxiety attack where I sob uncontrollably, dig my nails into my own skin, rip out my hair, lose my ability to talk normally (stutter), hyperventilate, and lose all control over my emotions and actions- once I've reached that point, buckling under the criticism and yelling, they laugh. They laugh and they get mad at me for being dramatic.
I've seen it affect my little brother, who is currently in third grade. He sees me having these breakdowns and being yelled at, and he cries, but he gets too scared to speak up because he doesn't want to get yelled at too. I've seen him look at me in horror and look at my parents like they're going to scream at him too.
My sister likes to join in when this happens, and taunt me. And my parents verbally tell her that she is "justified".

I was told by a doctor that I have high anxiety, and I react the way that I do because of that...my parents often deny that I have anxiety, and my mother has even gone far enough to physically drag me out of a bathroom stall, crying and shaking- while having a panic attack- into a group class in a public space to humiliate me.

Recently, I've lost any impulse control and I've been spilling this information to my close friends...who immediately said they are going to "help" me by getting me removed from my household. The truth is, I feel like I'm overreacting. In the moment, I'm terrified and upset...but then things blow over and my parents are still my parents. I love them because they're my parents. I don't want things to fall apart and for it to be my fault. But my friends are worried about me...last time I mentioned anything to the counselor, I had been self-harming in a matter of speaking. I told my mother (against my will, after she'd gone through my phone and seen texts mentioning a visit to the school counselors), and both of my parents were upset that I was ruining their image and making them look bad.
I've been warned not to talk badly about my parents. Being taken away by the police has always been a looming fear. I don't want to be taken away from my family because my family is all I know. I am dependent on my parents and I can't imagine living without them. It makes me scared.

I need to know how to reassure my friends that I'm really fine...and that I can make it through these next two years of high school...I'm just terrified that after all the guilt and blaming that something might actually be my fault...I don't want my family to fall apart because of me. I already get told that my parents will divorce because of me...

When my dad goes off on me and my mom, my mom threatens to take me away from him. Just me, not my siblings...

I'm scared that that will become a reality...I don't want to ruin my family life. How do I convince my friends that I'll be okay, and what should I do...

None of this is your fault what so ever. If the family is split up, that is not your fault. You are not tearing the family apart. Your parents are making terrible choices. You are not over reacting. This is not your fault.

Don't try to convince your friends that you are okay. This situation would not be healthy for a full grown adult, let alone a younger person. Reach out and take help. Get yourself out of this situation. If you can't do it for you, do it for your little brother. You can change both of your lives. It could encourage your parents to get the help they need.

This is not a healthy situation and I get it because I've been there. Please don't be afraid to take care of yourself. You are important and you deserve more.

[CalamityJane425]

Hello,
I just finished reading your story and OH BOY!
your being treated in the most horrible fashion.
I think that your probably a teen minor.
As a much older adult you really need to take action. Forget
about your friends think about YOU.
Your going to need help because what I think your describing to me
is child abuse plain & simple, I think you know that too.
Make sure you document all of this down then of course HIDE what you document.
I will research & provide you with some links to see what I can find for you.
Because this is going to affect you & in the most horrible of ways!
I want you to be a success in life.
Those parents simply disgust me, they are such cowards instead of working out THEIR problems they pick on you.
Then your sister joins in. WTH.
Stay tuned for further messages I will post instantaneously.
Please go to your school counselor & GET OUT!
I'll be back.

[CalamityJane425]

Hi I'm back,

If you have an adult outside the family to talk to do so.
I have one number

Teenonline.org ( a website go visit when possible)
Here is the teenonline phone number 310 855 4673 (memorize it) since your Mom checks your phone.
you can also text 839863

another one is Teenlink 866 833 6546 however they operate the phones from 6PM-10PM Pacific Standard Time which I think is West Coast Time. Memorize these numbers or write them down on a special memo pad & keep it inside your school locker not at home.
Tell them your situation & tell them that you can't take much more of this. Ask what your options are on getting the heck away from those crazy people.
Also look into getting into some kind of after school activities ANY KIND.
Look into ROTC? It's worth a shot.
Let me know how your doing.
Because I also asked one of those online advise websites about your situation. Unfortuantely it will be anywhere from 1-10 days for a response.
God bless.

[CalamityJane425]

PS Do whatever it takes to get into some after school activites.
use your head.
However don't seek support from ANY stranger adult outside of your school.
Too many creeps out there I'm sure you know what I mean.
I hope this will help you.

[Bill3]

The abusive behavior of your parents is not your fault.

What did the school counselor say?

Please get help. It's better to be safe than to suffer the consequences of staying with abusive parents. You will feel so much better once you are out of that toxic environment and perhaps your parents can get help. none of this is your fault. Your parents are the ones who did this to themselves.

[Wish_I_Was_Normal]

About the school counselor: I went back and told her to not listen to anymore reports from my friend about my family life being not the best- as was my parents' request. I told her not to look into it anymore and that I had been overreacting to the situation. I didn't want her to look into things or listen to reports from my friends and get me in trouble.

Originally Posted by Wish_I_Was_Normal

About the school counselor: I went back and told her to not listen to anymore reports from my friend about my family life being not the best- as was my parents' request. I told her not to look into it anymore and that I had been overreacting to the situation. I didn't want her to look into things or listen to reports from my friends and get me in trouble.

As a mom this absolutely breaks my heart. I am so sorry your parents have put you in this position.

[Bill3]

It is heartbreaking when a child is terrified of her own parents.