[LiteraryLark]

When I went into the waiting room for my T, I saw my dear old friend from high school. We were so close. It's a very, very long story, but to sum it up, she has severe mental illnesses (numerous diagnoses) and several learning disabilities to boot, and I love her so, so much, but she has always had issues with relationships (she's had many abusive partners) and she is very clingy and needy. I've had to change my number because she would call and call and call and text, text, text until I answer, and I've had to block her, and at one point I had given her another chance, and she did the same thing, call and call and call until I pick up. I had her on my mind because I knew she'd be upset after the fire knowing my house had burned down, but then today I saw her in the waiting room. She wasn't seeing a doctor, just here for a friend or boyfriend, and we talked until my T came to see me, and then when I left she was still there and I gave her another hug and promised I'd unblock her. So I did, but here's the tricky part. What do I do from here? I cannot give her my number for obvious reasons. She wants to hang out sometime, get a cup of coffee. What boundaries do I make to make this friendship work again? She's had a hard time, and I do love her so much and she is a terrific person who means well. She did say she is working hard on not calling people so much and from what she has said she has been working on self-improvement. I feel we were meant to be friends again I love her as a person and we both really need a friend, but I do feel the need to set limits with her to make the friendship work. Suggestions?

Oh man, it's heartbreaking because she's is actually aware of the clinginess, and is trying to work on it.

But that's also a good thing, and might be a good jumping off point for you? If she acknowledges that this is a problem, can the two of you sit down and talk very openly about these boundaries (with conditions of having to block her for your own mental health if things get out of hand again)?

I mean, it's not a pleasant conversation to have, any way you look at it, but she sounds like she might be open to that conversation, and would understand if you were to say, "Okay, but if you start doing this and that too much, I will need to distance myself again." Of course, this would all be said with emphasis on really, REALLY not wanting it to come to that.

Beyond that, I don't know. She does sound like you two could be good for each other, so long as you both are clear on what your boundaries are. Good luck, Lark!