Coworker problem? Need advice...

TW: Possible sexual harrassment?,mentions of threesome and sex,inappropriate questions asked from the guy,etc.
















So I attend this thing every Tuesday,Wednesday, and Thursday. It is called App (Adult prep program), it is a program provided by my high school for people who already graduated high school, although in some cases they allow people close to graduating high school. They teach you life skills like: How to make a resume,How to dress for a interview,How to fill out a job application,Budgeting,etc. You can stop going anytime you want, if your parents allow it. Or keep going until you get kicked out at age 22.

So I have this coworker Ty (Won't spell out his full first name for his privacy),he confessed he had a crush on me when I first started App. He confessed through Facebook messenger. I turned him down, because I didn't feel the same way back at the time. Fast forward to 2017 in the present, he messaged me through Facebook messenger again. On my mom's birthday of all days.

He found a profile I have on a app called Meetme. It's a app to meet people around your area, you can also use it to find someone to date. He straight up asked me "Would you touch girl body parts?", I was obviously taken by surprise by this question. He doesn't look or act like the type that would ask a question like that. He looks like a nerd, scrawny,wears glasses,into video games,quiet but polite.

Not being mean by describing him as a nerd either, he does look like a stereotypical one. I after awhile answered him and said I would. He asked me if I would do it with him, meaning sex. I said No, I'm not interested in sex, I'm asexual. He then asked me if I would have a threesome with him and another girl.

I said No, it doesn't matter the person, I wouldn't have sex. I've never had an interest in it nor a want to. He then asked "Why are you so against sex?", I proceeded to tell him I'm just not interested in it. But if other people want to have sex, good for them. I'm not against it.

He then asked me what my boob size is, I told him I'm not comfortable answering that question. He asked me if I would date him. I told him, I wouldn't. Maybe if he hadn't asked about my boob size or the threesome thing. He apologized and said he will just be lonely with no girl who will love him for him.

That we probably can't be friends either in person, because of this. I didn't answer, I didn't know what to say.

I also forgot to mention, he also said in the beginning of this conversation that he still like likes me and whenever he sees me or looks at me at App, he imagines doing stuff to me. While that was creepy, I didn't get mad because you can't help what your mind imagines. Strange thing I never caught him staring at me, maybe once or twice. But that's it.

So I ended up going to sleep. I woke up and he messaged me, saying he was sorry for saying all those things to me. He doesn't want our friendship to end because of this. He is going to be in his own hole of loneliness and he didn't want to sexually harass me at all.

We were never friends, so I don't know where he got that idea from. But anyways I don't know what to do. He did apologize and realized it was wrong of him to do. I will forgive him, so it isn't awkward at App. But I'm unsure if I should be friends with him or not, I kind of feel bad for him.

I can't report this to the head of App, because they probably wouldn't believe me. Ty has been at App longer then me and never acts weird like this at App. He is always polite and respectful. The perfect employee if you will.

While I act the same way, polite and respectful, the perfect employee, he still was around longer.

We aren't allowed to bring our phones and frankly, I would feel embarrassed for the head of App to read the conversation. He is a guy as well.

Any advice? I really need some...

Screen shot and save his messages. Then block him on Facebook. Be civil at work and nothing more. Do not befriend him because he guilt trips you. If he does any of this again take the screen shots to your employer (though I would do that now personally, but I understand your reasoning). His behavior is completely unacceptable.

I screenshoted the conversation, and blocked him. I don't feel safe going back to App though, so I'm probably gonna tell my mom everything and me and her will tell someone everything.

I'm so glad to hear this. Very smart choices. Sorry you have to deal with it.

Are you able to block him on the Meetme app too?

There's nothing you can do about seeing him at work. In hindsight, it would have been good to not answer any of his questions and block him immediately. So now you can know that for the future. As long as he doesn't say or do anything to you at work, there's nothing you can do. It will be awkward, but we all have to live with awkward situations. The second he tries or says something, I would report the whole thing to your supervisor. You've been clear that you don't want to engage in that kind of conversation with him or any kind of relationship. He should leave you alone at this point.

Seesaw

I blocked him on Meet me too.

But I am reporting him to the higher ups at App. I don't feel safe going there as long as he is there.

I want him gone.

It's a small program, so even if I don't work with him, I'll see him.

Which could cause me to have an anxiety attack, a meltdown (I have autism), or maybe even develop stomach ulcers in the future.

It wouldn't just be awkward for me. I'd be terrified and in a constant state of high anxiety.

Oh good. I am glad you decided to report him. I didn't want to push you because you seemed self conscious about the nature of the messages, but sometimes a little embarrassment to keep ourselves safe is worth it.

Let us know what happens.

Seesaw

You are doing the right thing reporting him whth help of your mother. Let us know how it goes. Hugs

I don't have to come back until January 2nd.

Which hopefully is when he is gone.

He was gonna graduate the program, sometime in December.

Will update you more on what happens.

They want me to email them the screenshots.

So I emailed the screenshots.

They agreed it was wrong of him and are going to call his parents.

He will be gone by the time I go back on Jan 2nd.

They even asked if I wanted to press charges, I said no.

I wouldn't want to ruin his life, just because of a mistake.

Now if he did something in person. Or kept bothering me. Then I would.

I'm glad you were brave enough to report it.