[Texas4lyf]

This is a first time post new user. I’ve been dating a woman now for almost a year and she has two teenage daughters one is 13 and the other is 19 and I have been trying to develop relationships with both of them. My girlfriend really wants me to develop a relationship with her youngest because she wants me to be a positive role model and male figure in her life but I’m also trying to develop a relationship with her oldest before she goes off to college to establish that if she ever needs me for something she can count on me that I’ll be there for her. Now this is the first time I’ve ever dated a woman with kids before and I do not have kids myself but I was raised without a father so I know what I would look for because I didn’t have that. A situation arose where my girlfriend was asleep and I was up and her 19-year-old daughter came home and we had a conversation and I just tried to give her advice on her current situations and just show that I am being a supportive future parent should my girlfriend I get married. However my girlfriend is looking at it as if it’s wrong and I don’t necessarily know why because there’s no attraction there is no nothing I see her as a kid. Any suggestions on how to navigate the outcome of what happened because I can’t understand why she doesn’t trust me or trust her and when she’s asking me to be more of a parent but then gets mad when I cross a boundary that she has

[Crazy Hitch]

Wow. How disturbing from your girlfriend's perspective. Really I don't think you did anything wrong at all. You had good intent and your heart is in the right place. Why do you think your girlfriend would even think that? It's a really bizarre thought coming from her behalf based on what you have said in your post.

[hvert]

I'm confused about what your GF wants. What do *you* want?

I don't have kids, but it seems odd to me that she is pressuring you to form a father-like relationship with these kids. They seem too old for that. I wouldn't have wanted that kind of relationship with my mother's boyfriend when I was that age.

[Teddy Bear]

Welcome to PC good luck with your relationship

[Bill3]

Another possibility is she thinks you got “too parental” considering that your relationship with her is still pretty new and you are not the biological father. In other words, she may like you offering a male influence but she might also be used to being the single parent and resent an “intrusion” into that territory. Can you speak with her to clarify what she has in mind?

It would be highly problematic if she actually thought you had a romantic interest in her daughter...are you sure that is what she was thinking? There needs to be clarity about that, at once.

There is potential to do a lot of good for her and her daughters but a lot of tact and sensitivity is needed!