On and off friend.

SorryShaped · Dec 29, 2017, 01:39 PM

I have a currently ex-friend that started a communication yesterday. He's been very difficult to cope with any time that I say I have a problem and need to talk. As long as things are good, they're good between us. As soon as I say something like, "bipolar is really rough. I know you understand, being also bipolar, but I need to unload. May I please?" he starts getting mean, calling names and even for some messed up reason saying I'm gay, which isn't true for me, but it is for him. I honestly think he wants me to be gay, because he's told me that before, "I love you and I think you love me and I think you're gay and I want to be with you." He did that one night when I was in tears because I'd let my ex really get to me. I feel uncomfortable around him. But, I have no friends or other people that really seem to want to be around me. What do I do? I've not responded to his message and really don't want to, and probably shouldn't. Any help appreciated. Do I ignore and forgive and forget or try friendship for the 4th time? He also sent a Facebook request, which I've also not accepted.

Dec 29, 2017, 01:46 PM

Cut him loose. He is unsupportive, unreliable and clearly hoping for a relationship you can't give him. 4th time? Enough said. He is not a good friend for you.

SorryShaped · Dec 29, 2017, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

Cut him loose. He is unsupportive, unreliable and clearly hoping for a relationship you can't give him. 4th time? Enough said. He is not a good friend for you.

Ok. I needed some support on this. Thank you. I was already of that decision, but now I'm sure.
Leaves me still with no friends IRL. What's wrong with me?

Dec 29, 2017, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Ok. I needed some support on this. Thank you. I was already of that decision, but now I'm sure.
Leaves me still with no friends IRL. What's wrong with me?

There is nothing wrong with you! You just haven't found your people yet.

I have a personality most people don't get. I'm basically crazy. Somehow over the years I've found people who are strange too. Who love me the way I am.

Never stop being yourself for anyone.

SorryShaped · Dec 29, 2017, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

There is nothing wrong with you! You just haven't found your people yet.

I have a personality most people don't get. I'm basically crazy. Somehow over the years I've found people who are strange too. Who love me the way I am.

Never stop being yourself for anyone.

I am changing myself, but for me, not others. Most people have never gotten this weird kid turned 43. The few that have moved away or became involved with others and left me out of it because the others too precedence. I have always loved the sanity if the crazy people. I think you and I could actually hang out as friends ok, but I know you aren't interested.

Dec 29, 2017, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Ok. I needed some support on this. Thank you. I was already of that decision, but now I'm sure.
Leaves me still with no friends IRL. What's wrong with me?

You have said in the past that you have a gift of being very empathetic and being able to read others personally, and also that you are very open with your feelings. Being very open to everyone, even just co-workers or acquaintances, can be very off-putting for others who are not as open.

There is nothing wrong with keeping some mystery as to how you are feeling at any given moment - most people are like this, reserved with most people except those they have developed a close bond with. Perhaps you try to get that close bond with others too fast, and it scares them off?

SorryShaped · Dec 29, 2017, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scaredandconfused

You have said in the past that you have a gift of being very empathetic and being able to read others personally, and also that you are very open with your feelings. Being very open to everyone, even just co-workers or acquaintances, can be very off-putting for others who are not as open.

There is nothing wrong with keeping some mystery as to how you are feeling at any given moment - most people are like this, reserved with most people except those they have developed a close bond with. Perhaps you try to get that close bond with others too fast, and it scares them off?

You've probably got it spot on.
I bond to people and not often enough with. That comes from my childhood lacking the emotional support I need, so I over-attach too much too quickly.

Dec 29, 2017, 02:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

I am changing myself, but for me, not others. Most people have never gotten this weird kid turned 43. The few that have moved away or became involved with others and left me out of it because the others too precedence. I have always loved the sanity if the crazy people. I think you and I could actually hang out as friends ok, but I know you aren't interested.

What makes you say that?

SorryShaped · Dec 29, 2017, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

What makes you say that?

My history with people. I've had a whole 10 friends ever. I'm too weird for you

Dec 29, 2017, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

My history with people. I've had a whole 10 friends ever. I'm too weird for you

That's cute. You have no idea! I prefer weird people. I don't do normal.

MickeyCheeky · Dec 29, 2017, 02:20 PM

I'm glad you've decided to not speak to him anymore.

SorryShaped · Dec 29, 2017, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

That's cute. You have no idea! I prefer weird people. I don't do normal.

Coffeetree later? Chess and espresso?

SorryShaped · Dec 29, 2017, 02:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I'm glad you've decided to not speak to him anymore.

Me too. He is more unstable than me. He's also very verbally lashing. More of a high five than a sad hug.

Dec 29, 2017, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

I have a currently ex-friend that started a communication yesterday. He's been very difficult to cope with any time that I say I have a problem and need to talk. As long as things are good, they're good between us. As soon as I say something like, "bipolar is really rough. I know you understand, being also bipolar, but I need to unload. May I please?" he starts getting mean, calling names and even for some messed up reason saying I'm gay, which isn't true for me, but it is for him. I honestly think he wants me to be gay, because he's told me that before, "I love you and I think you love me and I think you're gay and I want to be with you." He did that one night when I was in tears because I'd let my ex really get to me. I feel uncomfortable around him. But, I have no friends or other people that really seem to want to be around me. What do I do? I've not responded to his message and really don't want to, and probably shouldn't. Any help appreciated. Do I ignore and forgive and forget or try friendship for the 4th time? He also sent a Facebook request, which I've also not accepted.

You could find friends who are more supportive, besides the friends who are just for fun