[nikon]

hey
i have very few close friends, and a lot of acquaintances. i belong to a few whatsapp groups, which are moderately active. i don't get many whatsapp messages and it's like a highlight to get a personal message from an actual friend. having few friends and trouble connecting to people is a longstanding problem i have. i find it difficult when i message a friend, and then a long time passes with no reply, although i can see that they have been online in the interim. in the past i've been through long periods with no close friends and when i do have closer friends it always feels dangerous, like i could lose them really easily.

i know the old advice of not to take things personally - eg: they could be driving, could be arguing with a partner, could be busy and forget to reply, could be dealing with an issue etc. i just find it a bit hurtful. recently what happened was i was with a friend who was having a message conversation with another friend, who hadn't responded to messages i had sent him days previously.

in a way i can see how it's just an effect of having too few friends, because if i had more friends it wouldn't matter as much. i guess i just feel like i'm really shut off from people much of the time though, because i have to come to expect no reply from people, or just accept that i have to rely on myself. i am really bad at making friends!

[TishaBuv]

What kinds of things are you saying when you message that don’t get a response?

[nikon]

sometimes it's saying hi, how are you
basically all kinds of messages. like messaging back to one of their messages, asking more about how they are doing with something. sometimes saying i am struggling with something. talking about plans etc. sometimes i do get a response - which is why i say messaging back to their message. it's more like, i wait like a day or two or three for a response when i know they are on their phones a lot of the day.

Originally Posted by nikon

sometimes it's saying hi, how are you
basically all kinds of messages. like messaging back to one of their messages, asking more about how they are doing with something. sometimes saying i am struggling with something. talking about plans etc. sometimes i do get a response - which is why i say messaging back to their message. it's more like, i wait like a day or two or three for a response when i know they are on their phones a lot of the day.

"Hi" and "How are you?" are positive messages, but it's really best to get to the point of getting to know each other and planning hangouts.
Whenever I text, I get straight to the question, request, offer, whatever. That's what attracts the most attention.

[nikon]

Originally Posted by Vibrating Obsidian

"Hi" and "How are you?" are positive messages, but it's really best to get to the point of getting to know each other and planning hangouts.
Whenever I text, I get straight to the question, request, offer, whatever. That's what attracts the most attention.

agreed, although i often say "how are you?" to be polite, before asking about plans etc.

You can say it along the point of contacting