[ZenZeta]

I'll try to keep this short.

For the past couple of days, I have been crying over "the guy who got away", and I'm not sure why this is happening now.

This all happened nearly three years ago. I met him during a REALLY sad time in my life, and though he expressed interest, I wasn't ready. We would see each other from time to time through mutual friends but kept everything cordial.

Then there was the Christmas party. He finally asked for my phone number and I happily gave it to him. Ironically, I gave another guy my number that same night (keeping options over). Well, the other guy called first, and we ended up in a pretty unfulfilling relationship for almost two years.

I would still cross paths with the guy who got away, but we never crossed any lines because I was in a relationship (I kick myself for not cheating), and I am loyal to a fault.

Imagine my surprise, then, when the guy who got away showed up at a work function... with a WEDDING BAND!!!!!! I was nearing the end of my unfulfilling relationship and was hoping me and the guy who got away would finally get our chance. All I remember about that day was painting a smile on my face and saying Congrats, then going home and crying my eyes out.

Then I got angry. I had just talked to this guy about three weeks before, and he NEVER mentioned having someone in his life. So, I made the angry WTF call. He then told me that he knew this girl for only TWO WEEKS before marrying her!!!! I was devastated.

Like I said... that was nearly three years ago. I spent a year to myself then met what I THOUGHT was a prince charming only to discover that he was a wolf in sheep's clothing. I went through seven weeks of HELL not realizing until later that my actions were motivated by my wanting to get my fairy tale like "the wife".

I don't know her, but I hate her, and it's so petty and unfair to her. It's my fault that I didn't speak up or get out of my bad relationship to pursue the guy I really cared about, but as I type this, tears are streaming down my face.

After the seven weeks of hell, I STOPPED dating. I've been single for over a year and I find myself CONSTANTLY thinking about this man. I really need to let this go and move on, but I compare EVERY man to him.

He's MARRIED! I'll never have him and I have no idea why I'm so emotional over someone that exited my life so long ago.

What's going on??

[healingme4me]

It could be the loneliness of the season as to why the memories and regrets are flooding back?

It is interesting that he'd rush into marriage after 2 weeks of barely getting to know someone.