[Dawn7]

I understand that 12 years old is a tough age. However, I am getting to the point where it feels like my 12 year old daughter treats me like garbage about 70 percent of the time. She is sweet the rest.
My husband, her stepfather, has been understandably getting fed up with her behavior. I am thankful he is not being aggressive at her. But he is starting to take his anger out on me. Yelling at me about her, making inappropriate and aggressive comments and gestures about her towards me. I am feeling so angry at him. These times are hard enough. I wish he could be more mature in his expressions and behavior. I am trying so hard to keep my cool. This is a really messed up dynamic.

[eskielover]

Sounds like your husband has learned dysfunctional ways of expressing his frustrations especially in a family setting. Probably something he learned or experienced when he was a kid.

Maybe he could use some therapy to learn a new & better way of reacting & expressing himself....it takes learning a new way & practicing it repeatedly before change like that actually happens.

Hope some resolve can happen as this is a dysfunctional environment for your child to experience.

[Dawn7]

Yes, he is in therapy for a mood disorder already. I worry that he doesn't utilize therapy to the fullest extent. Also, he only goes every other week. He did make mention of my daughter's behavior triggering him.
I also have PTSD, and really feel scared inside of his anger. It's hard enough to deal with problematic behaviors of a 12 year old, without these other dynamics. I feel that I have been doing quite well with my daughter, and I feel very protective of her, even while she frustrates me to no end. I need support, not another person behaving like a child...bigger and stronger, and more intimidating though.

[MickeyCheeky]

You're absolutely right. Perhaps try to mention this to him? Or are you afraid he might become aggressive?