[BlueCrustacean]

Last weekend I went on a road trip with a group of people to a conference, in multiple cars, and I went with a girl I hadn't met properly (I'm a girl too). We were both young, physically similar and introverted, so it was hard to make a lot of conversation on the nearly 3 hour trip down to our conference. It went okay, though. Once we were down there, I had lots of fun with people I knew better, and stayed overnight with them. The next day, we finished up with the second half of the conference, and she was hanging out with a few other girls she apparently knew better as well.

Everyone was discussing who to travel back home with, and I didn't want to travel back home with an older guy who was kind of obnoxious and some other younger guys, so while the girl passed by I told her I wanted to ride back with her as well, and if she'd be okay with that. She passively said yes. Later, once the conference was officially over, I left to find her so that we could head home. She was hanging out with her friends, and as soon as she saw me approaching her, she moved away from me very visibly in front of everybody. She told them she had to take me home rather than go get pizza with them.

We had to drive back over to the house I was staying at to get my bag back, so that we could head home, and then went to a restaurant to have dinner with some other friends who said they'd join us on the ride home. Every single time I spoke, or tried to join the conversation, she'd glare at me like I was the dumbest, worst, ugliest person alive, and that everything I said was wrong. When they discussed leaving plans and how we had to get my bag, she said, "Maybe she should have planned ahead! Haha just kidding!" .... I knew she wasn't. She was being passive aggressive, and it really, really hurt me that she criticized me, especially in front of everybody.

I couldn't say anything back. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't sure I was even allowed to say anything, socially. I wanted to call her out as being a passive aggressive snide sleazy *****. I just fumed and tried to stare at her dirty, and sighed, and thought about what to do. Tears were threatening to well up in my eyes, I felt so angry and mistreated. Once she glared at me again for speaking, I stared her directly in the eyes and lowly muttered, "Am I annoying you?", apparently so lowly that no one heard me, and she asked, "What?", and I stared over in the distance, fuming, knowing I couldn't say anything serious in front of anybody, and finally said, "Nothing".

The others had a nice dinner while us two weren't yet given our food, and they suddenly left before us, having to hurry to pay for their meal, changing plans drastically. I looked at her after they left and asked what now, and through a gritted smile she said she wanted to strangle somebody, and that they'd all just left without notice. She asked me if she did a really good job at hiding her anger, and that she thought she did. I don't know if this was another jab at me or not. She was clearly not having a good night, and took it out on everybody, especially me. We both left the restaurant and headed home together.

It was tense, but we managed to have some brief conversation here and there on the road, just the two of us again. There was a point where she said she forgot something, and I wanted SO BADLY to respond with, "Well perhaps you should have planned ahead! Haha just kidding." to get back at her. I didn't, though. I was terrified she'd blow up and scream at me, or stop the car and push me out or something, or make it an even worse ride home than it had to be.

I'm still fuming inside, and feel so bad about not being able to tell her exactly how I feel about how severely rude she was to me, because she's a part of my friend's social circles and I don't want it to backfire on me. But I feel like a doormat and a loser. I can't STAND somebody mistreating me like that. I read articles about people who hate you for no reason, and a lot of people say jealousy, which holds back my rage momentarily, but only when I'm reading it. But I keep coming back to how angry I feel about her. I don't know what to do.

[Wantingtogrow1029]

Omg this made me so mad i know the exact feeling. Experienced that in my high school like 4 years ago.. That girl was rude but you clearly have your head on your shoulders.. You should feel empowered thst you didnt stoop to her level and act they way she did. It probably brings you bad feelings thinking about it now but one day you'll look back and it will feel completely different. Hopefully she realizes how rude she was and apologizes if not thats one mean girl.

[Wantingtogrow1029]

Thats cruel

[hvert]

I would be tempted to let this one incident go without saying anything but to avoid her, if possible, in the future. And maybe be prepared to call her out with a "Hey, did I do something to upset you? You seem really angry with me." Maybe say it privately once, and then loudly in front of a group if she keeps up the nasty comments.

It almost sounds to me like she was angry about something else and took it out on you. Maybe she didn't want to go but felt pressured to give you a ride when you asked? Why did those other two girls leave? That kind of makes me think she had some kind of other issue going on and she took it out on you. I'm sorry the conference ended on such a sour note

Hugs to you, that was really mean passive aggression from her - I definitely would advise steer clear from her in future. I don't really think there is a way out of these situations when someone is behaving so badly. You did not deserve it!