[member 101]

im in such a bad place right now, although i may have said a few things that caused the break up , it was a build of emotions that caused it. We know eachother just over 8 years and dated for 8 months, thereafter we got engaged which only lasted 6 months. Weve been back and forth over the 8 years trying to be with eachother we thought that this was finally it, but then things just came to an abrupt end. She packed up and left and haven’t heard a word going just over 2 weeks, i have messaged to say im sorry and that we had so much and we shouldn’t let it go. Am i wrong in saying this? Should i giver her space and wait for the message back, or should i just move on, which seems like impossible right now.

I do think that you should allow her space. Perhaps she is tired of the back and forth. Eight years is a long time of doing that. If she comes back do you think that things will be any different?

[Skeezyks]

Hello member: I see this is your first post here on PC. So... welcome to PsychCentral! I hope you find the time you spend here to be of benefit.

I'm sorry I don't know as I have any particular advice for you with regard to this situation. However here are links to some articles from PsychCentral's archives on the subject of healing after a break-up:

https://psychcentral.com/blog/how-to...ver-a-breakup/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/help-o...om-heartbreak/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/recover...-and-breakups/

https://psychcentral.com/blog/10-tip...-broken-heart/

I don't know, of course, if you're here simply seeking advice with regard to this particular concern or if you plan to hang in here with us. However, should you be planning to continue on (we hope you do)... may I suggest you introduce yourself over on PC's New Member Introductions forum? Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/new-...introductions/

There's a lot of support that can be available here on PC. The more you post, & reply to other members' posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are the chat rooms where you'll be able to interact with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) So please keep posting!

[gothicpear]

I guess I would be curious what the issue was that kept you in a back and forth relationship for so long. Were needs being expressed and then going unmet? Most people do not walk away from a relationship that is meeting their needs. It is also very hard to let go of someone when we love them. I am 7 months out of a 3.5 year relationship and still struggling with my heart!

Please give us a bit more info so we can help.

[winter loneliness]

The last time I was with someone who broke up with me many times, it was someone with borderline. Or,maybe be narcissism. He never told me.

Is that an issue?

[tecomsin]

Two weeks isn't a long time to move on. It can be very painful when relationships end whether we are the one who leaves, the other one does, or it's mutual. Now may be a good time to reflect on what you might do differently, if anything.