[The Blue Butterfly]

For the past 8 years of my life, I spent living in a relationship that was abusive in so many ways. My husband was emotionally, verbally,
Physically and sexually abusive. He was manipulative and very controlling. He isolated me from family and friends.
He would perform sexual acts on me while I slept. Basically because I was asleep and it was penatration, it was rape. He threatened my life, He took away my self esteem. He made me feel like I was crazy for wanting to leave, that it was all in my head. I stayed because of our 5 year old son. June 18th of last year, he kicked me in my lower back in front of our son and I called the cops and he was arrested. DSC got involved and the case is still ongoing. He some how wooed me back for a short time. September 28th I filed for divorce. October 9th he was served and he called me up at work, made an excuse for me to come home. He then drove me to the courthouse to file a motion to dismiss the divorce proceedings. He had me state that the door had hit me in the back and that he did not kick me. I fell for it. I tried jumping out of the truck several times to get away from him. October 28th I made my move. I packed up my car and took our son and I left.
He followed me and just about ran me off the road to get our son from me. He succeeded and kept my son from me for 6 weeks until the courts were finally involved. I now have a year restraining order against him and until thge new custody hearing February 8th, I see my son every other week. My son has told me on 3 different occassions that daddy said he was going to kill mommy and put me in the ground. He taught our son the N word. I can only imagine what else is being said in front of my poor son. Regardless of all of this, I am finally free!!!

I ended up meeting someone after leaving that started out as a friendship. He helped me find my confidence again, rebuild my self worth and showed me that I am worth more than I give myself credit for. He became the hope I needed to get through everything and we have grown into something more. He tells me everyday that I am beautiful and amazing. I am standing stronger than I have in a very long time. I do still have nightmares of my husband stabbing me or strangling me. He used to put me in choke holds for "fun" in front of our son and I couldn't breathe when he did. I still get anxiety with certain situations and I know it will be a very long time before I will be completely free from the torment he put me through. He is also trying to use my mental illness against me as I have bipolar disorder. The thing is I was only unstable when I was with him because of the emotional abuse and how far he pushed me until I would snap. I have been doing so much better and my therapist thinks my medicine could be reduced because of how much better I am doing. She has seen a huge improvement in me these last few months. I know I still have a long road ahead of me but I know I have the support of my family, my many friends, coworkers and Jeremy, whom has been amazing in so many way and I look forward to seeing what comes of our friendship. I look forward to my new beginning and to find the happiness in my life that I deserve to find and to enjoy my time with my son and do my best to fight as hard as I can to win my son to get him away from that monster.

[Skeezyks]

Thanks for sharing your progress. Hope all continues to go well for you & that you find success with your son.