[eclairparty98]

Hello,

I've started using a dating app again and it's going alright until the man wants to arrange a date. Messaging is great, I've spoken to some seemingly great people!! But my mind goes into overdrive when they start asking about the actual date. This is all so frustrating because what I really want to do is to start actively dating and meet new people but, tragically, my anxiety is getting in the way of these possibilities.

As a lot of us know, dating apps come with majorly devastating (but avoidable) risks; catfishing, kidnapping, dishonesty, predators, manipulators, agendas and in the extreme there is violence and even murder.. all of that is what I'm so paranoid about - I hear a lot of the time "trust your instinct" BUT as everyone on there is a stranger my guard is almost always up. There are guys who are perfectly fine but when they ask about meeting me I over think dramatically.

I posted back in early December about my first date and I've never ever been more anxious in my whole life. Can anyone understand?? Advice would be soooo very appreciated!! Thanks so much for reading!!

If you are worried about these things, they could all be easily avoided by agreeing to only meet at a very public place (a coffee shop, the theater, etc) until you are feeling comfortable enough to spend time alone with them. The more you avoid, the more afraid you will feel. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

[~Christina]

Meet in a coffee shop or mall food court anywhere around loads of people. As scaredandconfused advised.

Go with a friend to the coffee shop. They can sit in the background and keep an eye on things. You may choose whether or not you want your date to know you’re not alone.

I think there are some apps you can download that help you be safe while dating but I can’t remember their names. But they exist.

You may want to do a background check or google them. Honestly kudos to you for trying.

[avlady]

yes bring a friend in the background

[MickeyCheeky]

You can bring a friend over to keep an eye on things, if you feel comfortable or meet in a public place.. or near your home.

[eclairparty98]

Thanks all!!

Great, amazing advice - thank you so much. I have therapy soon so I'll share these ideas with my therapist and work through this. So appreciated, thanks again

You could arrange for have someone call you maybe 30 minutes or so into the date. If things aren't going well you can tell your date that there is an emergency and that you have to leave.

[eclairparty98]

Originally Posted by ForWhatItsWorth2U

You could arrange for have someone call you maybe 30 minutes or so into the date. If things aren't going well you can tell your date that there is an emergency and that you have to leave.

Thats a really good idea! I hadn't considered this. Thank you.