Mixed signals....

hi everyone,

i have been broken up from my ex girl for a year and a half. Ive had no contact with her for this entire time.

I have been wanting to reconnect with her as i have moved back to the same city.

I sent her an email early december that id like to talk to her on the phone and hope she is doing well. I got no response...

I then sent another one just before christmas wishing her and her family well with good wishes.

No reply..... I then did a no no and checked her instagram a couple of weeks later. (i know its not healthy to do so) I hadnt looked for the entire time we have not spoken to each other as it used to hurt like hell.

Turns out she started out posting alot of things directly after the breakup to make me jealous and a tonne of pics with new men.

She also posted pictures of her doing fantastic new things that she said she d never want to do in the past like travelling to third world contries and the like.

But since i sent my first email she has posted things that directly relate to what we shared in the past and personal things she would never post...

in the emails i asked her if she would like to chat on the phone with no response from her.

Is she messing with me or do you guys think she may want me to call because she s fearful?

Im a bit fearful myself...

thanks rusty

Hi Rusty,

I would avoid reading too far into her Instagram posts. If she is not responding to your emails, it's probably for the best to leave her be and wait to see if she reaches out to you. I think we often shoot ourselves in the foot when we try to figure out what other people are thinking, especially when we have been out of touch for a significant amount of time. If she is playing a game, I wouldn't buy into it anyway - I would suggest that you let her approach you like an adult.

Good luck!

Relationship advice is tricky at best.
From what you have said here, she seems to not wish to rekindle friendship...
She could have responded to your good holiday wishes, even if she was ‘fearful’.
It’s my opinion on the very, very little I know about your relationship and it really ain’t worth *****, but you asked.

I really cant honeslty say if she is just using my contact as a motivator to reach out or just mess with my head....

Sometimes i feel like just calling her and make the first move.....

We had something really strong and we were so comfortable around each other when we were together...

i now shes not my girl anymore but she is single and i miss this person more than i have another...

life sucks that's for sure

Has anyone else been in a situation like this?

It does not sound like she is interested. If she wanted to reconnect she probably would have responded to one of your emails. I doubt the intagram posts are directed at you. She is probably just living her life and posting what is interesting to her now.

When a romance dissolves, as yours did over a year ago, the former partners don't usually want to start hanging out as buddies. She probably figures that "over" means over. I don't think she's messing with you. She's declining your invitation to reconnect. I think you just have to let it go.

Dude, it's beyond over. It's past time to move on.

She's probably not thinking of you at all, rather than messing with your head.

How are there mixed signals? She never replied to your continuous desperate messages and has moved on with her life.

Obviously, there was a reason why the two of you broke up. And since that the only thing that has changes is that you have been desperate, you seem to be unable to move on, while she did move on. How is that a reason for her to go back to you?

The only thing she did was post things on Instagram that relate to the year you were together? I don't know what exactly this means, but she cannot really deny that part of her life. Maybe she did have a lot of fun with you, while it lasted? I mean, you were together for a year.

You already 'made the first move' by emailing her. And when you wish her a 'happy Christmas' you deliberately put her in a bind. If she doesn't reply, she is rude. If she does reply, she does give you mixed signals. I mean, if she had said "Happy Christmas to you too." back to you, you would have told us "She said this and this. She is sending mixed signals. Maybe she does want me back. What do I do?"

Some people are in a romantic relationship, but then become friends. That must be very difficult to do. So the romance in both must fizzle out exactly at the same time. And both new partners must be ok with their partner staying friends with someone they shared intimate feelings with, had sex with, and now still share intimate feelings with. I am sure it can be done, but I do wonder how.

Clearly, it isn't happening for you with her.

I think it's time to move on... she clearly isn't interested in you anymore.

If she was intetested she would reply. She doesn't even know you are looking at her instagram unless yiu have commented on the photos.

I never respond to emails or anything else when a relationship is over in my iwn mind. You are the one holding onto the past & it seems trying to resurrect it. Don't bother....she woukd have replied if she wanted to.

Well rusty, life can be harsh.
Sounds like You’re melancholic for an old lover, it happens a lot.
Though it may have stung a bit, I think the people who posted here are right.
It’s time to move on.
Good luck.