[hvert]

I met a woman through a mutual friend and we seemed to have a bit in common. After getting together with her a few times, I found that I am not interested in pursuing a friendship. She wants to meet way more often than I do. I declined two invites in a row and told her a few weeks ago that I was too busy with work to meet for the next few months. She's already contacting me to meet again.

Do I tell her again that I am too busy to meet? It seems rude to tell her that I don't want to be friends, but maybe it is rude to tell her I'm busy when really I just don't want to make time for her. I have a really hard time saying no to people and feel like I am about to schedule something with her when I really don't want to. At this point, even if I did like seeing her occasionally, I'm reluctant to see her at all because she wants to see me every week and there's no way I have time for that.

You have no obligation to her to be friends. I would just put her off and keep saying you're busy. I wouldn't respond right away either. She'll hopefully get the hint!

[TishaBuv]

“I’m busy”, is a little white lie people tell all the time. Eventually, she will get the hint. Or, you can tell the honest truth, “While I’d like seeing you occasionally, you are acting too needy.” But, then that makes everything so awkward, which is why people tell the former instead.

[hvert]

Thanks for the confirmation it's okay to say no! Keep your fingers crossed she takes the hint...

[MickeyCheeky]

Yes, it's ok to say no.

[seesaw]

Actually, I don't think "I'm busy" is a lie. You are busy. Busy doing things you want to do. Even if busy is reading a book, it's still busy. You have other plans. Even if those plans are sitting at home doing nothing, those are your plans, and you prefer them to her.

I'd do two things...say you're busy and also start waiting longer and longer to respond. She'll start to get the hint that you just aren't interested.

Now if this was a dating situation I'd say be straight forward, but it's not a romantic thing, and you aren't stringing her along.

Seesaw

Also, you don't have to even respond. You can tell her you're busy. And if you want to respond (when you feel like it) do it. If you don't feel like it, don't.

[nat.cassidy]

I've had someone like that who I also met through a mutual friend. She doesn't really bother me unless a conversation has already started and she does not stop contacting me!

Some people can't take the hint that you're just not interested. Be a good person and just let her know instead of coming up with excuses to avoid her. I don't think she's a bad person and she should know the truth and given some respect

[hvert]

Thanks, it's true, I really am busy with things I'd rather be doing and I don't need to feel bad about this... but I do, lol.

Originally Posted by hvert

I don't need to feel bad about this... but I do, lol.

Cuz you're a nice person. But even nice people need boundaries, which I'm sure you know

[hvert]

I have so much trouble with boundaries! I'm always on the wrong side, either too much or too little. I ordered another book on saying No after I made this post, lol.

Originally Posted by hvert

I have so much trouble with boundaries! I'm always on the wrong side, either too much or too little. I ordered another book on saying No after I made this post, lol.

Is it "When I say no, I feel guilty"? I got that book recently.