I am socially stuck. I have difficulties moving out because of the stress which comes with it.
I am trying to be beneficial and it’s not working. I’m trying to benefit here and I don’t see fruition. I always want to benefit and be useful. But I am stuck...
I can’t seek treatment since I plan on moving out.

I am overwhelemed with stress - moving out, past crush, social status, and the future.

Vent:

I hate how some “morally-framed” people hurt others for the sake of their image (my brother, a friend I don’t want to call a friend anymore). This is amoral. Morality is about benefitting each other at all times. We’re supposed to be allies for our continued future. Why would we hurt each other, I mean that’s the stupidest thing

[Michael2Wolves]

"Let the dead bury the dead."

How's that for a morally-framed response? The past is dead and buried. You can continually re-invent yourself until you hit the right combination that allows you to feel good about who you are and where you're going.

Moving out can be a huge stressor. You're stepping into the unknown. But it doesn't have to be scary. You can re-frame it in your own mind. By re-framing it, you're taking away it's power over you. "Moving out is scary!" changes to, "Hey, this can be a great opportunity for me!" Yeah, it takes practice and you won't get it right away, but it does help if you keep at it.

Past crush? Social Status? The Future?

Elaborate, please!


lol I tease, but I figured you needed a smile.

Don't worry too much about the past. Nothing you can do to change it. All that matters is the here and now. Reframing things in your mind will help you contextualize things and put it into perspective. Moving out, for instance. That could be exciting--new place! New friends! New things to see and do! The fear will always be there to pick up when you want, but if you set it aside for the time being, you'll discover that you have an amazing ability to change your mood by simply changing how you actively think about something. And any time the fear comes back, be gentle. Just remind yourself that it is momentary, and it will pass. Let it wash over you like wind over a field of grass and pass you by. When it's gone, you'll still be standing there and the fear will be nowhere to be seen.

[CelestialFlame]

What is considered moral is subjective. You believing that having a two day beneficial relationship being morality is your personal opinion and some people may not share that. What is considered beneficial is also subjective because what may hurt one person may help another.

Originally Posted by Michael2Wolves

"Let the dead bury the dead."

How's that for a morally-framed response? The past is dead and buried. You can continually re-invent yourself until you hit the right combination that allows you to feel good about who you are and where you're going.

Moving out can be a huge stressor. You're stepping into the unknown. But it doesn't have to be scary. You can re-frame it in your own mind. By re-framing it, you're taking away it's power over you. "Moving out is scary!" changes to, "Hey, this can be a great opportunity for me!" Yeah, it takes practice and you won't get it right away, but it does help if you keep at it.

Past crush? Social Status? The Future?

Elaborate, please!


lol I tease, but I figured you needed a smile.

Don't worry too much about the past. Nothing you can do to change it. All that matters is the here and now. Reframing things in your mind will help you contextualize things and put it into perspective. Moving out, for instance. That could be exciting--new place! New friends! New things to see and do! The fear will always be there to pick up when you want, but if you set it aside for the time being, you'll discover that you have an amazing ability to change your mood by simply changing how you actively think about something. And any time the fear comes back, be gentle. Just remind yourself that it is momentary, and it will pass. Let it wash over you like wind over a field of grass and pass you by. When it's gone, you'll still be standing there and the fear will be nowhere to be seen.

I don’t like the phrase but on the other hand it’s pointless ruminating on it. I need to get things done. I hope I’ll be able to do it

[Artchic528]

As a wise baboon once said...



"Oh, yes. The past can hurt. But the way I see it you can either run from it, or learn from it."

So, what that means is not to keep ruminating about the past, or avoid confronting it altogether, but learn from it so that you'll be better prepared to handle such situations, should they arise again.

If I were you, I'd stop focusing on moving out so I could seek treatment and get myself together first. THEN I'd take the whole "moving out" concept off the back burner and focus on that once I'm better and able to tackle more appropriately.

You say you are on the ASD Spectrum, right? Does your country have special needs programs for people who need a little something "extra" in the way of treatment, and some means to help those who need it with becoming financially independent members of society?

I think that your first on getting treatment is to look for these programs and institutions that help people with disabilities like Aspergers and whatnot. They're out there, I think. You just have to look.

[Michael2Wolves]

Yeah, try to remember to remind yourself that the past is gone, and it can be gone as if it never existed, if you choose. Morally-framed people as you say can be Ps in the A because of their hypocrisy and self-righteousness. But the intent behind the phrase is sound--don't let the past bother you (or try not to--I know it can be hard), and if it rears its ugly head, just remember who you are today and that who you are today isn't who you were then.

In other words, learn from the past, but don't worry about the past. Don't let it be a shackle to keep you back from your full potential. One day at a time, keep reminding yourself of this until it sticks.

Nothing is impossible, only improbable, and if you change the variables, you can change the probabilities. Just be gentle with yourself.

And above all else...

[mugwort2]

A former boyfriend told me its in the past let go of it IOW Learn from it but don't let it control you. I agree that if possible morality is benefiting each other. If that is not possible to try to be fair to each other as possible. I think too its important to work on yor issues vs ignoring them Issues ignored somehow haunt you unless you deal with them.