[BrokenDamaged]

I have been dealing with a lot for several months, so due to my severe depression, anxiety from multiple men sending me various messages daily despite not being interested, and most of all, CYBERBULLYING mostly from one person (mostly in a secret FB group); I scheduled my FB and Twitter for deletion and they should be gone by Sunday I think... I do not plan on ever creating another new account, as this is my 2nd account that lasted only 7 months. I deactivated my accounts a lot, and at this point, FB causes me much more stress than pleasure. I am also a loner, but I am said to be very kind.

But someone has spread vicious rumors about me since September of last year, but I did not know the extent until last weekend, which nearly brought me to suicide. But my reputation is extremely important, and although I am not sure how many people/"friends" believe those things (mostly from late last year), I would very much like to resolve it. I never did anything but block someone for being rude and insulting, so he is legit obsessed with me despite never knowing me.

Please help; I also have cancer.

[Taylor27]

So sorry to hear about you having cancer. I hate to see people getting bullied. Your true friends and people in your life if they do care about you will not let that person influence the lies and rumors. That person i believe should be reported, im very sorry to hear this one person cause you problems. I dont know if i could say yes or no to try to resolve it, you did nothing wrong, for me it would create more anxiety so it would not be worth it since your accounts are going to be deleted. Also it does not mean you cant start a new face book account just don't add the person or people causing you so much emotional distress. Welcome to pc i hope you feel welcome here.

[BrokenDamaged]

Originally Posted by Cheryl27

So sorry to hear about you having cancer. I hate to see people getting bullied. Your true friends and people in your life if they do care about you will not let that person influence the lies and rumors. That person i believe should be reported, im very sorry to hear this one person cause you problems. I dont know if i could say yes or no to try to resolve it, you did nothing wrong, for me it would create more anxiety so it would not be worth it since your accounts are going to be deleted. Also it does not mean you cant start a new face book account just don't add the person or people causing you so much emotional distress. Welcome to pc i hope you feel welcome here.

Thank you for your response. I forgot to mention that I will never create new accounts ever again. In 2016, I deleted my FB from 2008, and made this one in July mainly because I was involved with a guy (no longer, as of 2 weeks ago). I had my Twitter since 2013 I think.

You make a great point. I am honestly a loner/not very social nor open, but friendly. I hate drama.

[Taylor27]

Most of my social interaction is online. There are other ways to be social online. PC is a great way to get to know others. I hate drama too nothing like people acting like two year olds, so fustrating

[Hope 51]

I would indeed totally neuter the account. If you need it, keep it open, take all your pictures off and set up better security. You need to make it less a part of your life, I’m talking about your whole online profile.

If you need help ask an acquaintance who is versed in the issues. There are multiple ways to secure the account. If need be, just close it. If you really want a Facebook account, set up a fake one.

[amandalouise]

your title question of whether you should have a facebook account or not....

Im sorry but only you can make that decision.

what I can tell you is that facebook does have personal settings where people can set their facebook pages at what and who they want others to see and comment on.

facebook also has ways that you can report anyone that is causing you problems.

facebook also has ways for you to block people who are causing you problems so that they can not even get on your timeline. once you block them and their posts all they see is a generic page with your name, and a notice that they do not have access...think of facebook blocking like the psych central ignore list. you put them on your list and you no longer are bothered by them.

I do have a facebook, both a personal one and a work related one. I have the settings on both set in such a way that only those I want to access my timelines can and those I dont cant.

i never have any problems with facebook because on those rare occasions when someone does slip through my settings I just report them and facebook takes it from there. problem solved.

again i cant say whether you should or should not create another facebook account... but something you may not know... usually facebook does not delete accounts right away. there is usually a 45 day grace period where you can still reactivate the account you want deleted just by logging back in.

given you say it should be gone by this week end I take it you have a few more days where you can reactivate your account, if you decide to go back on it...

a poster mentioned making a fake account.... um facebook now requires valid phone numbers, valid email accounts and they also flag for fake accounts. some people still may have fake accounts out there but they are probably made before facebook started using IP addresses for verification of double accounts/ fake accounts.

in short in order for someone to make a face account now they would have to use a completely different computer/ cell phone/ chrome book what have you then they usually use on facebook. dont know about everyone else but I dont have the money to go out and buy a new cell phone/ laptop/ computer to be able to get past their IP screening. this IP screening went into place to help prevent all the fake news/ spamming ads/ scams and illegal activities on facebook that facebook is cutting down on.

[BrokenDamaged]

Originally Posted by amandalouise

your title question of whether you should have a facebook account or not....

Im sorry but only you can make that decision.

what I can tell you is that facebook does have personal settings where people can set their facebook pages at what and who they want others to see and comment on.

facebook also has ways that you can report anyone that is causing you problems.

facebook also has ways for you to block people who are causing you problems so that they can not even get on your timeline. once you block them and their posts all they see is a generic page with your name, and a notice that they do not have access...think of facebook blocking like the psych central ignore list. you put them on your list and you no longer are bothered by them.

I do have a facebook, both a personal one and a work related one. I have the settings on both set in such a way that only those I want to access my timelines can and those I dont cant.

i never have any problems with facebook because on those rare occasions when someone does slip through my settings I just report them and facebook takes it from there. problem solved.

again i cant say whether you should or should not create another facebook account... but something you may not know... usually facebook does not delete accounts right away. there is usually a 45 day grace period where you can still reactivate the account you want deleted just by logging back in.

given you say it should be gone by this week end I take it you have a few more days where you can reactivate your account, if you decide to go back on it...

a poster mentioned making a fake account.... um facebook now requires valid phone numbers, valid email accounts and they also flag for fake accounts. some people still may have fake accounts out there but they are probably made before facebook started using IP addresses for verification of double accounts/ fake accounts.

in short in order for someone to make a face account now they would have to use a completely different computer/ cell phone/ chrome book what have you then they usually use on facebook. dont know about everyone else but I dont have the money to go out and buy a new cell phone/ laptop/ computer to be able to get past their IP screening. this IP screening went into place to help prevent all the fake news/ spamming ads/ scams and illegal activities on facebook that facebook is cutting down on.

Hello, thank you for taking the time to reply.

I am sorry but my FB is/was very private; even my friendslist, and only people with mutual friends can add me. I meant to say that 90% of the harassment occurrs in a secret group I was once in, so it is only visible to members-- but lots of friends, acquaintances and fellow community members see that stuff. I was allowed to use someone's account to view most of the slander, and I reported at least 20 posts/comments, but only 3 - 5 were removed. The person was given a 30 day FB "ban", which is common for him, but once he returns he will start again.

Also, I blocked a lot of people, but they feel scorned and keep talking about me. I am in a male-dominated group for serious gamers, so females tend to be a target. Most are pretty nice and respectful, but whenever I block or reject them, they become very consumedand bitter.

He ruined my reputation in the only community I felt safe and productive in.

[Guiness187055]

For me personally the best thing I ever did was delete my facebook.

[BrokenDamaged]

So I 100% should not attempt to clear things up for sure? Just disappear forever? Just making sure; people are still judging me I think, but most of that is from November. I also have unresolved feelings of resentment from former friends joining in on the crap someone said about me, for fun.

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by BrokenDamaged

So I 100% should not attempt to clear things up for sure? Just disappear forever? Just making sure; people are still judging me I think, but most of that is from November. I also have unresolved feelings of resentment from former friends joining in on the crap someone said about me, for fun.

question..... if I say yes and you do it does that mean you are going to blame me for you never going on facebook again... and vise versa if I say no are you going to hold me responsible for what happens if you do open another account....

my point i am not you so there is no way on earth that i could say whether its right for you to have a facebook account or not.

only you can decide for yourself whether it is best for you to have a facebook account or not have a facebook account.....

I cant tell you what to do, how to do it and who to do with with and when.... thats for you to decide...

for me I am not the kind of person that will have others telling me what to do and what not to do and whether I should or should not have a facebook account and join a facebook group that is predominately male oriented group.

I choose what I want to do on the internet based on what I enjoy doing, what I want to do and what is best for me.

my suggestion is to not think about whether all of us have told you yes or no, what to do and all that jazz.

instead sit down and decide what ..........you....... want, what ...........you...... want to get out of being online and whether ........you........want to have a facebook account or not....

that will tell you whether you should or should not have a facebook account. I cant do that for you.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by BrokenDamaged

Hello, thank you for taking the time to reply.

I am sorry but my FB is/was very private; even my friendslist, and only people with mutual friends can add me. I meant to say that 90% of the harassment occurrs in a secret group I was once in, so it is only visible to members-- but lots of friends, acquaintances and fellow community members see that stuff. I was allowed to use someone's account to view most of the slander, and I reported at least 20 posts/comments, but only 3 - 5 were removed. The person was given a 30 day FB "ban", which is common for him, but once he returns he will start again.

Also, I blocked a lot of people, but they feel scorned and keep talking about me. I am in a male-dominated group for serious gamers, so females tend to be a target. Most are pretty nice and respectful, but whenever I block or reject them, they become very consumedand bitter.

He ruined my reputation in the only community I felt safe and productive in.

I was in a very similar situation with a guy who ran a hate page. We, a group of us, had reported his page multiple times and FB did nothing, until it came out that their anti-harassment algorithm was totally screwing up and they recently hired more humans to review the claims. Then all of a sudden his page was permanently removed and FB told us that if he starts a new page to report it and it would also be removed. He is no longer allowed to have any pages on FB because of his bullying, stalking, and harassment.

So, all this is to say, maybe you should try reporting this guy again now that FB is being more stringent. It can take a bit of reporting over a period of time but eventually the reports add up and they will do something.

I hate to see someone give in to bullying and leaving the space because of a bully. I hate it when bullies win.

Seesaw