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#1
Mar 28, 2018, 06:06 PM
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Hello all!
Just wanting to know what your thoughts are saying "I love you" in a relationship. A little history...my boyfriend and I will be together 2 years April 1st. I have told him I loved him on 2 occasions. The 1st time was at 1 year and then again recently. He has never said it back or said it at all to me. I have asked him about it and it seems he links the term "love" to all his bad relationships before. Our relationship has had a lot of ups and downs but I don't think it's in issue with me per say. He says he wants a future with me and I've spent holidays with his mother/father and kids from a previous relationship. I really try to be understanding. He has told me how badly he was hurt in the past and has told me it takes him a while for him to heal. I reassured him I totally respected that...although when he did tell me I questioned if he was actually ready to be in a relationship...if he's not healed. His last relationship ended 3 years before us and they were together almost 6 years and have 2 children. She cheated on him throughout the relationship.. according to him..and it caused him to have trust issues. I guess I'm torn because I dang sure don't want to pressure him to say if it really doesn't...but I can't stop thinking that my feelings for him are a lot more heavy than his for me. I also know he doesn't have an issue with saying "I love you"...He says it to all his family members...even distant relatives. I know its different but it kind of lets me know it's definitely a girlfriend thing. I know 2 years isn't a really long time and I don't want to seem pushy but I guess it'll be nice just to hear how he feels.... |
 Anonymous50909, mote.of.soul
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#2
Mar 29, 2018, 03:12 AM
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Two years is really a long time, imo. I think you figured it out already that your feeling for him are a lot more heavier than his feeling for you.
__________________
One day I’ll leave my 6 flowers
and millions of butterflies 🌹🦋 |
 graystreet, Trippin2.0
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#3
Mar 29, 2018, 08:41 AM
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I also feel like 2 years is a long time...
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| graystreet
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#4
Mar 29, 2018, 08:59 AM
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I agree that this sounds like a girlfriend issue.
It must be so hurtful to hear him say "I love you" to his entire close and distant family but not to you.  How much (if at all) does he want to change? What is he doing to address/heal from the pain? What is he doing to correct his seeming inability to let himself be vulnerable, his seeming inability to attach romantically? If he isn't trying to work on himself, for example with a therapist, then the situation is not going to change. The relationship that you have with him now will be the relationship that you will have with him going forward. |
| mote.of.soul, Trippin2.0
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#5
Mar 29, 2018, 06:27 PM
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"I love you" are word.
How does he treat you? Does he show affection? Does he treat you as a priority? Does he seem happy when he sees you? Does he enjoy spending time with you? Whilst he may have difficulty saying the words, he may show it in other ways. |
| Trippin2.0
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#6
Mar 30, 2018, 02:21 PM
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Well sometimes he is the most caring compassionate person ever. He'll do things for me and try his best to help me out. But he does have another side. He can get REALLY mad and he has called me names before. There has been times in the past I really considered leaving him because of it.
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#7
Mar 30, 2018, 11:34 PM
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Quote:
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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