I accidentally spilled coffee at work and I'm devastated

I accidentally knocked over a cup of coffee near the end of my shift. I had the extremely painful and devastated expression on my face. When a coworker asked me what was wrong, I burst into tears and told her I spilled coffee and that it’s emotionally painful. She and a few other coworkers said it’s no big deal and to clean it up. One other coworker just looked at me weird.

I just wish I could have sympathy from everyone, but I’m glad I was able to get sympathy from a few. That’s better than none. I’m just a little kid. I went on to call 2 of my coworkers mom and another one my nurse since she previously worked in health care. I whined and cried to those people after my coffee spilled and for a couple other catastrophes (such as sanitizer bottle falling apart).

I'm just weirded out by the male coworker who looked at me weird. Why would ANYONE look at me weird? I'm just a child (at least emotionally). That is the question.

Ruby, may I ask? How old are you?
You come off as much more intelligent than a child, that is for sure.

some people SADLY don't get that someone your age is

Some people even if they know about your ASD, they have expectations of how people are SUPPOSED to act without being willing to take into consideration & understand things beyond age that go into causing people to react the way they do.

SADLY some people expect EVERYONE to act the way they think everyone should act is situations & when someone doesn't act the way they see most people reacting they will tend to look at that person with a weird look instead of understanding WHY that person reacts that way. It is sad that they visually showed what they might be thinking instead of accepting that your reaction was NORMAL for you

Some people have problems understanding people who don't react to things in the way they think is normal & don't know how to keep that lack of understanding to themselves when a reaction seems to them way extreme for what happened.

Guess it is as important to have the same understanding for their inability to understand that you want from others to understand that you really are an emotional child even at your age.

There will always be people you encounter in life that just don't get how ASD really effects a person's thinking, reactions, & behaviors. They think because the persin looks just like everyone else that the behavior shoukd be the same too. This guy may not even know why yiu reacted that way with thebspilling of the coffee if he doesn't really know anything about you & gave you that look because he is not used to someone your age reacting like a child & just doesn't get it any more than you don't have the ability to not react that way.

I understand that look. My H looked at me like I was wierd when I told him what the home care person did that morning when my mom was dying of cancer. It wasn't about what I did but about what I was telling him happened. He said that wasn't what he was thinking but it sure was the look he gave me.....so......maybe that guy wasn't really thinking the way his expression looked to you (just another possible thought)

Understanding & being understood is a hard enough challenge in life just normally. Throw ASD in the mix & it adds to the challenge.

I'm replying to both ppl who answered my thread. I'm 29 and most of my coworkers are older than me (like by a whole generation). There's only 2 ppl that's younger.

Honestly, I didn't used to be like this. I used to be way more emotionally mature. Then a few weeks ago, I suddenly regressed to being a child emotionally because of a mental and emotional breakdown. Dealing with how my fast food supervisor treated me has taken its toll. So much for looking up to her, or anyone. She had me canned 6 months ago and it took lots of effort to deal with the effects and pretend to function. People in my life actually thought I was functioning but I was actually holding everything inside.

I've lost interest in everything and the ability to handle anything. I'm glad I had sympathy from a few of my coworkers. I've been at this job for over 5 years. The guy who looked at me weird been there 4 years. The ladies who gave my sympathy been there less than a year. Funny how someone who been there so long couldn't understand. Maybe it's bc he's a guy and besides, ain't no one seen me like that b4 at work.

It will take time to get past having been fired, but you can do it!! According to this video, fake it until you make it:
Your body language may shape who you are - Amy Cuddy
https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_...e=en#t-1159310

It sure would, especially when I was canned for some weird reason.

My supervisor got mad because I looked up to her. She reacted positively to other people who looked up to her.

Loved that video

You were fired for stalking and harrassment not looking up to. But that was established already

I think the issue might be that at 29 people don’t think you are s child. At 29 you are an adult. Saying that people could certainly be judgemental or plain ignorant about ASD. I am glad that other coworkers are understanding. Did your case manager informed work place that you have ASD? I am not saying the whole world needs to know but we’re you hired under some type of vocational rehab program? And did you give a permission to share your disability with management?

I am sorry that you are hurting and that it's affecting your ability to function normally. I know the entire incident with your previous job was a big strain on you. BUT, you were not "canned for some weird reason." You were "canned" for not obeying direct directions from your supervisor. This is not weird. It is a reasonable consequence for failure to adhere to the rules of the workplace and inappropriate behavior. I apologize if pointing this out is hurtful but I feel that it is necessary to point this out as you continually try to rewrite what happened, and when you do so, you absolve yourself of responsibility for your actions. And if you want to succeed as you have previously mentioned, you will have to learn to take responsibility for your actions and to own your mistakes as well as learn from them.

Ruby, I really feel that you need to see a therapist who can help you with these issues. I understand that it's difficult for you to understand how this situation occurred and that you feel devastated because of it - a therapist will help you process those feelings and develop a positive outlook for the future.

Getting fired isn't the end of the world, even though I know it feels that way. It happens to almost everyone at least once in their life. All you can do is try to learn from whatever happened that caused you to get fired, re-evaluate your goals, and work on improving your skills for the future. It's also normal to feel some depression and/or anxiety afterwards, even for months.

I encourage you to a) STOP rewriting history and own up to your own mistake - it doesn't make you a bad person to have made a mistake, it makes you an intelligent person for knowing you can do better b) STOP judging yourself for what happened and for how you feel about it - it's okay that you made a mistake and it's okay that you are struggling emotionally to come to terms with it and c) see a therapist to help you process this whole situation and start to move forward.

Seesaw

I wasn’t hired at this job thru voc rehab. I simply applied and was hired just like everyone else. That was in 2012 although I did quit for a year. Moms 1 and 2 and nurses 1 and 2 are 4 of my coworkers. That’s how I refer to them anyway.

I see, thanks for clarifying. Do you refer to them as moms in your personal lives or at work? It’s probably best not call them “moms” at work. Do you have a therapist? Someone you meet on a regular basis to discuss your difficulties?

As I don't see them in my personal lives, I call them mom at work. And I'm seeing a therapist on a weekly basis. idk if I could ever emotionally mature again without a lot of hard work.

It’s not really appropriate to call co-workers mom, and nurse. They are NOT your mom or your nurse. Of course it’s going to be a lot of hard work to become more emotionally mature. But what it your alternative? Same thing different day.

Your comment about “I’m just a little kid” was a bit odd. You are not a little kid. You are a full grown woman. Anyone can have a bad day, but having a full blown melt down over spilling a cup of coffee might get some strange looks. Of course that would be embarrassing. However, These are co-workers, not friends or family, and are not obligated to understand you psychiatric situation.

Are you addressing these issues in therapy? Maybe if once a week isn’t helping you could try going more often?

Are they nurses such as have a job of a nurse? Otherwise I am confused? Is this a hospital?

Looking for sympathy over a spilt cup of coffee at work is not appropriate work behavior. Trying to blame your emotional behavior on your past boss who gave you many chances before your constant refusal to follow directions forced her to take the steps she did is you not learning from your mistakes. Life will be much easier if you accept responsibility for your actions and stop blaming others.

No I work in retail, but 2 of my coworker worked as RNs in a hospital before joining my current company. I recently referred to myself as their patient and them as my nurses.

Ummm. NO. You are not their patient and they are not your nurse. These are the kind of things that people find inappropriate. No matter how much you may want to, it’s not your right to assign roles and relationships to other people without their consent.

Because usually, it’s a minor issue. That is, statistically speaking.
I personally speak as a person who is horrid of micro-management.
I am wondering, is there a link to that? Eskie said you have ASD and you may have a habit of taking small things seriously. I apologize if it sounds too bold, but I have no other way to put it

I agree about maintaining a more professional distance from your co-workers. Calling them 'mom' is inappropriate for a workplace. It sounds to me like a lack of professionalism has been the root of an ongoing problem regarding both your employment and relationships with your colleagues. In addition, I am of the opinion you are not accountable to yourself for your actions.

It is definitely time to find a therapist to deal with this. They can help you understand what is happening and help you to learn appropriate behaviour and personal responsibility.

Does your T work with you on the issues that your ASD causes in your life & try to teach you how to better handle the situations or do you just blow that off like you said in a previous post was the way you reacted to your parents who you said basically let you do whatever you wanted. Maybe that could explain why you have problems taking direction from authority?

I behaved appropriately at this job until my mental breakdown a few weeks ago.

I am a bit confused why RNs quit their job and went to work in
retail? Nothing against retail at all but people don’t quit licensed jobs for no reason. Are you sure?

I highly recommend to not call them moms or nurses

At 29 & calling others you work wirh mom & nurse in a serious way is NOT appropriate on the job behavior. Were you calling them that before your breakdiwn a few weeks ago?

Why was your breakdown so long after the situation that supposedly caused it? ( You indicate that you blame this breakdown on what happened to you months ago on that other job)

My breakdown didn’t just happen out of the blue. It was a slow, gradual buildup over the past 6 months. I was holding it in and appearing to function normally. Then a few weeks ago, I could no longer hold it all in. Hence, my breakdown. Before my breakdown, I wasn’t calling them mom or nurse or crying over every little thing. I wasn’t seeking to be catered to. I was just behaving normally like everyone else.

And the RNs quit their jobs bc of retirement. They then took on the store job part time.

Your old boss did nothing to you, you did it to yourself by refusing to listen. Now you are trying to change the story to get sympathy.

It’s nice that they are being supportive of you but I still wouldn’t call them moms and nurses. Honestly normally nothing shocks me due to nature of my work but even lower functioning people with severe disabilities don’t call coworker “moms and nurses”. I really don’t understand why you do this.