[cool09]

My Mother sends out holiday cards for every occasion. I find them bogus for the simple fact that she hasn't talked to me in several years. She doesn't want to be involved with my problems. It's not like I could talk to her anyway, she puts on a face all the time and you can't have a real conversation with her. I let her do what she does but when I recently got home from the hospital I found 3 cards on my table. Should I stay peeved?

[healingme4me]

Hopefully as time goes on it doesn't eat at you as much. It's completely understandable to harbor resentment. Are the cards some type of pennance? :\

[mote.of.soul]

Aw, three lovely cards. If you can set aside the negative feelings then that would be the best approach, I believe. Yes, these cards represent your mothers love.

[rechu]

My mom sends random holiday packages with stuff like socks, a calendar she makes with hideous photos, etc. I mean socks? That just shows you're out of ideas.

But she doesn't speak to me either, she seems to have farmed out dealing with me to my dad for the last few years. She was having surgery recently so I emailed her, even mentioned we could talk on skype, and she never answered. According to my dad she got my mail. Same if I send her messages via other methods, silence.

I've pretty much accepted that is just how things are going to be. Like you, even when we used to speak, I could never have a serious conversation. Opening myself up only led to criticism.

Guilty as charged.

I send greeting cards out. How much more personal they are than a cute email, social media mention, or text. It takes no effort to do any of these things and I find them rather thoughtless as though I don't matter enough for a personal touch. I take care, to even write a note or letter. For me, it is thrilling to find one in the mailbox. Sadly though letter writing and cards are lost art forms.

Consider then the effort taken to select a card, write a note, pay for postage, and go to a mailbox. In comparison a short post on something like Facebook is sadly lacking.

My mom died 10 years ago today. We did not get along and barely spoke to each other. I would give anything to be getting cards from her right now. You have a non existent relatio ship, but those small tokens show she cares. Pack them away because the day will come when you'll miss your mom. I guarantee it.