When people say they don't care when they actually do

I've always wondered, when someone says they don't care about something, is it true that they actually do care in most cases? Like if something is bothering them and they say they no longer care, but they keep talking about it, it seems like they really do care but are trying to hide it. Or if you are joking around with someone, like a friend, and you get the feeling you are annoying them and you apologize, and they say you are fine and that they don't care. Sometimes even then, they seem like they actually do care but they don't want to tell you for some reason and just secretly hope you will stop. What are your thoughts? Just wondered.

Sure. People do that all of the time. Like if somebody tells me to stay out of something that I feel I could help out on I will act like I don't give a **** but, I actually do. And sometimes I will continue to think about it, tormenting myself in the process. What I really hate though is someone telling me that they - ooops. Almost said something I would surely come to regret later. But, yeah, also picking at me until I am thoroughly annoyed and then, giving me a light apology or no apology will really get under my skin and though I may try to hide it I am actually quite steamed over it.

Yeah I totally agree, people do it way more than they may show.

I think that whether or not that's true in most cases depends on the person in question. In my case, I'm not sure. I've definitely done it a lot, but there's also been a lot of times when I was telling the truth.

What about you?

I am the same as you. There has been times where I told people I didn't care or mind in order to save trouble or possibly make someone else mad. But there are other times where I legit do not care about something at all.

I've done it for those reasons and I've also done it to make people feel that their attempts to provoke or hurt me in some way were unsuccessful.

Oh yes, I have done it for that reason as well. That is actually a good thing to do in that situation.

It's certainly one useful option, depending on the route you'd like to take. It could also be useful to body slam them and deliver an axe kick to their face, but no matter what you go with, it's always good to weigh the pros and cons first before making that decision.

An axe kick following a body slam huh? Such violence unnecessarily.

Ah, so you're a peace of the Earth kinda guy.

Oh no, I love violence. Strategic and well placed. I love control and discipline, strength and an unwavering confidence not bothered or set off by petty drama. I'm just not quick to threaten or use it.

Confidence doesn't really impress me. I'm more impressed by courage in the face of fear and vulnerability.

That's admirable.

Just out of curiosity, have you ever axe kicked a person in the face while they where on the ground? It just seems flamboyant and unnecessary, much like your overreaction. If what you are impressed with is courage in the face of fear and vulnerability, why not employ some and not react like an uncontrolled brute when someone pretends not to care?

The truth is people who really don't care about something don't talk about it at all
When someone continuously says "I don't care", they're trying to shove some topics off. It could be a small bad joke, to a big bad relationship breakup

Good call, I agree. When someone doesn't actually care they just don't, it's obvious. When someone says they don't care, they do but are trying to deflect the uncomfortable infliction of care not reciprocated. I can see how emotional immaturity would lead to abrupt reactions of violence thereof.

Understanding and full responsibility for ones own (what you care about) yields a more nurturing and positive interaction. Recognition and acceptance that some people simply don't care about the same things as you do is evidence of self actualization and confidence in being.

So this is interesting to me...I used to worry a lot about other people's emotions, and it gave me so much anxiety. Then I realized I could never guess or know what someone was thinking or feeling. So unless someone tells me something is wrong, I take their word for it that nothing is. If they can't communicate or won't communicate, that is on them. I have found that I worried needlessly about so many things. And I no longer do, and for the most part, the things that I would have worried about that others were thinking or feeling, weren't even issues. They were things I was imagining or paranoid or worrying about for no reason.

Now, if someone says they are fine or don't care and keeps talking about something, I might bring up to them that they are certainly spending a lot of energy on the topic and seem to care. So ask them if it's bothering them or just irritating them, so I understand if they just need to vent and get it out so they can move on. There are often things that irritate me that I really just need to expel out of myself and then I don't care anymore. I know I often need to talk something out so I can realize that it's really unimportant in the grand scheme of things so I can let it go.

Good topic.

Seesaw

That is a little too aggressive, unless it is in self defense and it is a last resort option.

I agree. It is usually obvious when someone really does care.

I agree.

I totally agree with you. I am always open to listening to someone bent, but at the same time, I am not fooled when someone says they really don't care and then keep on talking about it. And it doesn't even have to be major. It can be minor.

There is no singular answer to this since in every case stated here it depends on the situation and the person in question.

Do people say they don't care when they do? sure... sometimes. other times they don't..

Out of context you cannot say that people say it and do care or vice versa and have it be accurate because it's not.. it's not something black and white.

Is there a situation or a person you have in mind recently that happened making you wonder this? if that were the case it would be much easier to reply having an actual situation in mind.

Again, it's best to weigh the pros and cons of any potential decision. Violence can often lead to negative consequences for yourself and it's usually best to reserve it for when you need it, like you more or less said. I'm usually not a violent person either and I've never actually used the body slam/axe kick combo, although I thought it made for an amusing example.

Talking imaginary matrix moves is amusing, however childish and immature for the likes of this forum, where we try to assist one another in tactful control and kind regard. Perhaps you should voice your imagination to those involved in video games, movies, and role play. Leave the more serious discussions and advice to the adults with a bit more sensitivity and desire to help one another react more positively and mutually beneficial. Your desire to harm the random elderly is abhorrent by the way. Respect your elders.