How to effectively return asinine comments or how to deal with an A hole

Honestly if they can't carry on an intelligent conversatikn with their pstients & disrespect them to that level....I don't even TRUST their care for patients....my mom's oncoligist was one if those idiots & both he I my mom proved ME RIGHT....but nit going to get into those details. There was nothing he could do to help my mom but refused to be honest with her....left honesty in my lap.

Medical & mental health professionals have to EARN my trust & RESPECT. They don't get it just because I pay them....& they get me views of them FREE OF CHARGE.

...

Ah Fuzzy. Look at that face! That says it all.

Yes, it drives me crazy too, the way the system here (doesn't) work. It isn't that we are talking about a few 'bad apples', who we can then avoid. The system itself - when we pluck up our courage and ask for help - stares back at us and says, No!

Everyone knows the NHS is chronically under-funded. Mental Health Services probably only have enough funding to treat a quarter of the people who need it. What do the other three quarters do?

They get fobbed off, put on waiting lists, discouraged from going back to their GP, prescribed meds that might not suit them, told they have to 'refer themselves' (this means they are given the address of a not very friendly website, where they have to fill in awful forms that demand yes or no answers to complex questions).

It's hard to describe how bad it feels to approach your GP for the third time (having finally got to see the Practice Counsellor), and come away with nothing but a web address.

I gave up at that point.

Which is, it feels like, what they want.

I found that the anti-depressant suits me pretty well (I'm lucky!) so I'm just taking that, now, and trying to help myself as best I can.

Much love to you, Fuzzy. Keep battering away at them, if you can. But I completely understand if you can't.

(((((((( Purple ))))))))

Battering away at them.. it’s very sad that this is a requirement to receive ANY “help” in this forest. You’re very accurate in your insights (it would be “nice” if they were somewhat accurate .. and a tiny tiny slice of compassion from them wouldn’t go amiss .. but alas ...

A very “cynical” and bruised bear, sick of the n.s. (Uk)

Much love to you purple

(And respect to “carers” who actually care)

When doctors interact this way it means they are much too "self" involved and have begun to look at their patients "not" as feeling sensitive people but instead just another "case" they have to deal with. Sometimes, these doctors are actually stressed and behind schedule and they have their own issues and pressures and they can get "numb" to the fact that they have a REAL feeling and possibly frightened person in front of them.

I agree with the general gist of 'treat me with respect, or you won't treat me at all'. Like eskie, I do my research before embarking on anything & usually drop a few clues to this effect, when first meeting. However, some 'professionals' seem to resent the idea of a customer being up to speed on things & get defensive or holier-than-thou - these are typically people that I can't do business with (unless no alternative exists). With medical types, I usually state my symptom & requirements, then let them do their diagnosis - if that diagnosis doesn't seem right, I'll explain why I think so & let them make their case to me. If I get any attitude from them, I'll stand my ground without getting argumentative & that doesn't work, then if at all possible, I'll go elsewhere.

Do these doctors give you more than 10 minutes? Just curious. 10 minutes is above the “average” “given” in this forest, even for serious and very distressing issues

Private “health care” is even more inaccessable in the UK.. I guess some in the USA may believe in the ... stuff.. the n.s. Write. IMO they lie. Far far too often. I’m sick of “doctor shopping” - to get what? 10 minutes with someone with a God complex.



But as I’m allergic to the meds anyway I don’t bother with them

It is very sad, poor bruised bear

And well said! Respect to the carers who care

Fuzzy is absolutely right about the ten minutes most patients in UK GP surgeries receive. I'm sure the official line is different. But that's what actually happens. And by the eighth minute, you can already feel their attention wandering to the door. Stay for eleven minutes, and you feel like a malingering troublemaker.

Bear in mind, this person might (like myself) have taken years to build up to this visit.

Well said..

((((((( Purple )))))))

Yes, they do miss so much, it’s very very sad . People are NEVER numbers. Some like me have ... been abused multiple times by doctors. This isn’t an exaggeration.. And I never “over used” the “services”... Read purple,violet,blues posts if you have any doubts about my observations

I hate the 10 minute thing that seems to have become prevalent in some (particularly state run) health systems, especially for an illness that doesn't necessarily produce nice, clear physical symptoms (aha, you appear to be missing a leg, there...) - I understand why it's there (overloaded system), but it has to be detrimental to proper patient care, which is going to result in more visits & more costs.

I've been incredibly lucky to find a place where they talk & listen for as long as it takes. I don't think that's necessarily typical here.

Or, it can result in patients avoiding these abusive and useless doctors and possibly (maybe hopefully) in my case.. dying as a result

But yes, it’s ALL about cost. The n.s. Is **** ****

Don’t worry I don’t have any plans to harm myself. But I have found doctors have done me MUCH more harm than good And I’m not unusual I don’t believe in this forest (most don’t speak of it or hate themselves and blame themselves completely for “failing” as a “human being” .. its very sad. I don’t hate myself that much as I can perceive the System for what it is

Sadly, money talks & IMO, health systems should be above that kind of thing (ie: basic human right). I've spent time on both sides of the big pond, so can compare the NHS with the US systems first hand - I firmly remain an advocate of socialized healthcare systems. I'd better be quiet now, or I'll have the ghost of Senator McCarthy after me...

As purple said, many times the person has taken years to build up to this 10 minute appointment..........

I have to give these n.s. People credit.. they have plenty of excuses as to why they give someone the minimum “care” possible...

I disagree, I have found the n.s. Profoundly sub optimal for “mental health care”

I understand, fuzzy - I just think quality of treatment shouldn't depend on how wide your wallet is. Here, if you don't have funds, you might not get treatment at all.

But bad docs are bad docs & are best avoided, if possible. And you, with your lifetime of experiences (good & bad) & learned strategies have value, even if the idiots don't recognize it. Now, if there was only a cure for idiots...

I agree.. idiots probably if the first doctor I “talked” to had had any brain at all.. my experience wouldn’t have been as bad..

Ouch. They really have battered me. Growl...

I just tried to make an appointment with a new therapist and the receptionist was so abrasive on the phone I backed out of the appointment.

That stinks.... grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I have found significant success in looking the offending person in the eye and calmly asking them, "Are you trying to hurt me? (or 'be abusive' or 'condescending' or... as the case may be)

Incidentally, what do you call the person who graduating dead last in their medical school? Doctor.

This is a great quote and I agree. I recently quit my job. My boss believed in and had a negative intimidating management style. I don't.
He saw me growl and show my teeth. He backed off. Treating people badly to be productive is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

Growl, snarl, show your teeth and claws...
Let them know their actions and words dont intimidate you.
That being said it isn't always an easy thing to do.