I may meet a man this week

I met the new man for coffee. He is absolutely fascinating. He is very sincere and honest. I really like his character. He is well-connected to powerful people which I find a little intimidating but truly amazing. He is very nice too. He and I talked about many topics and about our illnesses. He is a good listener and extremely supportive. He and I are not perfect but may be perfect for each other. He is so kind that I'm simply moved to be treated well. After meeting other men who have used me or just want sex, he is like a breath of fresh air. I like him so far. We are taking it slowly and will go out for dinner next month. He is busy with his work and travels internationally. We clicked, and this makes me happy. I look forward to meeting him again next month before he goes abroad for a month for business. I like him and hope this time it works out between us. I am being careful not to act too needy but did tell him I'm lonely and all alone here. And, he replied that he'll be my friend. This is what I like about him. A friend in the making and a truly nice man.

He wrote me on facebook and on skype. He is so sweet. I think he will become someone special. I value character very much. He is a good man. I am hoping he likes me for my character too. He says he likes me too. I am happy.


I sent him this video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgKAFK5djSk

hmmm, I read his facebook page and he states he is in an open relationship although not married. I will address this with him later as we get to know each other.

I say things on my facebook which are not true at times. I am wondering if he is saying this to protect himself. hmmm

He wished me a good day this morning, and so did I. He is nice.

I'm beginning to wonder where I fit in in his world. He has some contacts on facebook with some truly beautiful women who look like models. I'm wondering what is he seeking with me? I'm not ugly but not a model type. May be, he got sick of them? I don't know. He probably can get any woman he desires. hmmm, he said he wanted a dinner date to go to meetings with him and also someone who is a serious partner. He is well-connected and very influential. I want someone who is my friend. However, given his status, I don't feel like divulging my problems to him because it is a waste of his time reading such messages or listening to them, and I don't want to scare him.


I divulged all my problems to the previous man whom I dated for awhile. It probably scared him. I was manic and had hypergraphia, and wrote him many messages. I think this is one of the reasons he cut me off. I understand. I need a friend and was looking for one in the wrong place. Thus, I don't want to tell my problems to this new man.

I will take it as it comes. We are meeting for dinner next month before he flies abroad for a business trip to Europe. He travels internationally for business.


I do like his nature. So far, I know he likes me. I am happy about this. I feel blessed about meeting him.

I sent him this video.

California Dreamin- SIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TFmncOtzcE

He said he liked the music but the movie was scary. hmmm, I guess so.

Why this video? It’s quite dreadful, it’s from a movie San Andreas about pretty much total demise of San Francisco area. It’s scary and potentially triggering. What if he has family in the area? Watching Golden Gate collapsing is just dreadful. There are other renditions of the song and maybe other videos (if you wanted song about someone missing California). If I received it I’d wonder why someone sent it to me after one date.

I'm from LA. He is from Japan. He has no family in CA. I miss CA so sent him this. There may be a possibility of a big earthquake in CA. I told him it is just a movie, and he understands.

Besides, this is how I feel about CA.

Also, divine 66, I find your comments always condescending towards me. Would you please refrain from commenting on my threads? Thank you very much!!

No problem. But please do put a trigger on your thread. Even if I do not open your thread at all, your video is playing on my screen. That’s how I see it. In my feed. I have to check maybe it’s not like this on a PC site but a video is playing on Tapatalk.

I open forum this morning and that’s the first thing I see. My family lives in SF area, I am not particularly excited to see it crashing down even if I don’t even open your thread! I’ll put you on ignore (not sure if it works on Tapatalk, hope so) so I don’t have to ever wake up to dreadful videos!

He wished me a good night. He is really sweet.

I could not sleep. I am listening to Christian music and sent him this.

There's a place for us- Carrie Underwood

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nE6J7krAla8

I will try to sleep before I become manic.

P.S. He is Christian.

He wished me a good morning. I wished him a wonderful day. He is very sweet.

For some reason, when I'm on skype or facebook he is on too. I address him and say hello. May be it is just a coincidence. I feel as if I'm being watched. May be it is my paranoia. But, he comes on skype or facebook while I'm on. Others don't do this to me. hmmmm

I've read through the whole thread and it is a little bit of a whirlwind.

I totally understand wanting to be with someone special, but it is very easy for other people to sense neediness, even when we think we are not. Telling someone, after only a few dates, about your mental illness is one way this is projected. Staying with someone for 10 hours on a first date *can* be another. Not always; but I think it depends on other behaviors as well.

I had an online guy friend whom I discussed my illness with even before we'd formally met. However, it was part of the way we started to get to know each other as he was also struggling with issues at the time. This was many, many years ago and we'd been friends ever since. Cut to recently when we decided to date. I divulged a lot to him that I wouldn't normally divulge to a man I wasn't close to, and it ended up being used against me. The relationship wasn't healthy, and ended up being quite damaging.

I'm not saying this will happen to you, I'm saying be wise. I see a lot of rationalizing in this thread. Just because you have issues doesn't mean you have to put up with less from an individual, or put up with things like someone being an hour and a half late for a second date. Remember, in some ways, you teach people how to treat you. If you show early on that you accept them being disrespectful toward you, they will understand now that this is something they can continue. The next time, he may be three hours late. Does that make sense?

I would also refrain from sending too many videos/songs, etc. I'm sorry, but I have to agree with divine on this one. And early in the communication with someone, receiving things like that can come off as needy or, at the very least, just an annoyance. I tend to send pictures/memes I find funny to men I'm talking to, but really only if we'd been talking about it or if I know it is in line with their sense of humor. People tend to be pretty busy, and may not have time to sit and watch a video that another person thinks is interesting. Heck, my sister sends me videos and I accidentally delete them half the time. *shrug*

I wish you the best.

Graystreet, thank you very much for your insight. I really appreciate it. Yes, may be sending videos may be an annoyance if out of context.


This current man I just met is very decent. He showed up before the meeting time and so did I. I am trying to refrain from texting him too much. I like him as a person so far. I told him about my mental illness because he told me about his illnesses. He is doing ok but because he suffered from a stroke he has some physical disabilities. I accept him for who he is and realized the reason he is so empathetic to me is because he suffers too. He is supportive and probably truly understands the reason I take medication for my disorder. I don't feel he will use my illness against me like the previous man who was immature and quite jaded in his perspective about mental illness. He truly thinks that mental illness can be cured by taking vacations. Whatever!! I'm glad to have experienced such a bad time with the previous man that I can appreciate a good man now.

Also, I have not sent any sexy pics to the current man and am trying not to do so. I sent such pics to the previous man early on after we met online which is probably the reason he never respected me.


I made many mistakes with the previous man that I know not to repeat them with the new man.


I will also not send to many messages about what I'm doing so it does not sound like I am so needy about wanting approval from him. So far, it is going well.


I feel ok and am happy about the new man. Thank you very much again for your message! Please comment anytime!

hmmm, I went on facebook and skype and the new man is on both again. Weird. I am not going to message each time he is on. I will curtail the number of messages and see if he contacts me first. If he writes me, then I will write back.

My other facebook friend told me to at least say Good Morning and Good Evening. So, I did. I can't totally ignore him and not send any messages but just the usual greetings.

He wished me a good night. hmmm

I was wondering if I want to pursue this relationship when I can't discuss how I feel. I guess, I'm seeking a friend again. I have other pen pals who are also supportive about mental illness and write them. I like them a lot. I don't know if this man can become my friend yet. I shall see. I have to be patient but just want to divulge my feelings. However, my feelings are not about him but my mood disorder which might scare him. So, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place in trying to not be too needy and not being too distant. I truly want a friend who is my partner too. I guess, it takes time. I'm so impatient and want things to happen quickly. But, these type of situations usually end quickly too. I guess, I should be happy with this new man. But, I have so many problems that they are getting in the way of developing a decent relationship with anybody. I have to realize this point well because who wants anybody who talks only about their problems.